Agency-Based Education

"Education is nothing like the filling of a reluctant pail.

It is the lighting of a fire."

~William Butler Yeats 

There are some  big and scary things happening in education right now, and so if you don't want to hear about it, I advise you to find another blog to read today. ;-)

Some may wonder why I care about the public school system, and the requirements that the federal government now places on  parents, students, teachers, administrators and schools. My answer is that when freedom is taken from one sector, the powers that be look around for other freedoms that can be destroyed. The homeschooling movement has come too far and done too much to remain unnoticed. Not to mention, many sacrifices have been made by pioneering home educators during the last century to restore the rights and liberty parents have to educate their own children, as our forefathers did for a millenia.

I will go into more of my opinions on the matters at hand in upcoming posts, but today I thought I'd share something that sets the stage for why "Agency-Based Education" is so very important to me:

I am SOOOO GRATEFUL for the freedom I have to educate my children as I see fit!!! I will do all I can to defend that right and the rights of future generations to do the same.

I hope you enjoy this video explanation as much as I do. :-)

Hugs, Mama Rachel

Homeschool Community

Sword of Freedom (American Civil War) class Awards Night

The last few months have been full of great reminders as to why I love my local homeschool community!

Mom Nights

In January, I attended two Mom's Night homeschool discussions that refreshed and inspired me. And I was able to help out a couple of moms with some words of reassurance, as well. I came away from both evenings feeling a new strength and determination to improve our homeschooling efforts, and also to seek more inspiration from the Holy Spirit and the scriptures in our family's education

Key things that stuck with me:

• Pray EVERY morning for inspiration on what I need to teach my kids THAT DAY. (Thank you, Toni!)
• Teach my children how to use the scriptures-- especially the Book of Mormon-- to find the inspiration they need for their studies EACH DAY
• At the end of every day, I need to sit down and record all the things we did that day. If I do this, I will be able to better see what we've actually accomplished. (Like Fly Lady's "Ta-Da" list!)
• The definition of success, according to the "Preach My Gospel" handbook is: "Teach with the Spirit, and Love Those You Serve." This was BIG for me. It keeps my perspective where it needs to be.
• We need to help one another to know how to start clubs and smaller groups our kids need.
• Our kids need to be connected, and in order for that to happen regularly is to keep the moms and dads connected with one another.
• Homeschoolers in our area can help each other better by being more unified. Two mom nights a month was too much time away from my family-- can't we combine the two???

Homeschooling Teens' Classes

First Semester

In the Fall, our Lliam and Bonny joined with friends from our weekly classes last year (Remember the ones we held in our house every Thursday?) to take the next class in the LEMI series from their mentor last year, Susan J.. Our Brennan had already taken the course, but he was asked to be the assistant mentor. The next class is called "Sword of Freedom" and is an in-depth study of the American Civil War. They read books about the war, wrote papers about what they learned, wrote a big paper on their favorite Civil War Hero, memorized battles, scriptures, and the Gettysburg Address, and participated in a battle simulation out in the desert. 

At the end of the semester, if they had fulfilled every requirement, they earned a Civil War replica sword and kepi hat. The picture at the beginning of the post shows the kids with their swords. (Brennan earned his sword as a surprise from the mentor. Since he had earned a Confederate sword last year, sweet Susan got him a Union sword for his help this year. Wasn't that so kind?

Second Semester

In January, our kids joined back up with the existing commonwealth school group that has been offering classes for the last few years. (I used to teach Shakespeare with that group.) I also stepped in to mentor the drama class and direct their production for this year. Since the kids my older children used to hang out with have all scattered, it was a bit difficult for them at first. But  they have since made new friends and have grown to appreciate them.

The other day, a call went out among us to help one of the families in the group. They had received notice that they had to be out of their rental home within 24 hours, and they needed HELP. My two big boys, ages 16 and 15, were immediately ready to go. They spent the day doing all they could to get this dear family's belongings safely out of their home. At least 3 or four other homeschool families responded to the call, moms, dads, kids. (I would have gone if I wasn't dealing with my own issues.) It was wonderful to see how quickly and immediately our little homeschool group responded to help!

And then last Friday evening, we held a Parents' Night where the mentors and students presented each class's purpose and showed a bit of what they have been studying. It began with the little ones in the Joy School and Core groups, went through all the Love of Learning classes, and then each Scholar age class. The last presentation was our Fiddler on the Roof class. We stood together and sang "Tradition." and the crowd went wild! (It's really going to be a great show!)

Looking around that night, I felt such joy and happiness, seeing all the families who actively participate and contribute to our Commonwealth classes. Unlike a regular school, we meet only once a week, and EVERY FAMILY must contribute in some way, whether it's teaching a little kids' class, mentoring a Scholar or Love of Learning class, or serving on the governing board. And because each family is heavily invested in the group, it runs smoothly and with high energy. It's different than just a bunch of moms that drop their kids off to someone's house or school to be taught by someone else. It's a feeling of belonging, of community, of family.

We had something similar with our tiny group in my home last year, and it was so wonderful! (I sure miss those other families! *sniff*) Intimately knowing who is influencing and teaching one's children is such a blessed thing! Our big kids get the time they need with other youth who have high standards and good study habits. And we get the support and encouragement we homeschooling moms so desperately need. (Well, I need it, anyhow...)

Community. Isn't it wonderful? :)

What Creates "Teenagers?"

"Little Women" book illustration by Jessie W. Smith

 Did you know that before the early 1900's, no one EVER used the term "teenager?" And not only did the term not exist, but there was also no expected "teenage" behavior and no rampant, cultural adolescent angst.

This morning I read a fascinating, encouraging article from the "Scientific American Mind" magazine that I knew I just had to share on my blog today.

This article addresses the myth that adolescents have a "different" type of brain than adults. The author, Dr. Robert Epstein, wrote the article way back in 2007.

You can read the entire article at this link, and I've also included some great excerpts from the article, as well.

Today, with teens trapped in the frivolous world of peer culture, they learn virtually everything they know from one another rather than from the people they are about to become. Isolated from adults and wrongly treated like children, it is no wonder that some teens behave, by adult standards, recklessly or irresponsibly. Almost without exception, the reckless and irresponsible behavior we see is the teen’s way of declaring his or her adulthood or, through pregnancy or the commission of serious crime, of instantly becoming an adult under the law. Fortunately, we also know from extensive research both in the U.S. and elsewhere that when we treat teens like adults, they almost immediately rise to the challenge.

In 1991 anthropologist Alice Schlegel of the University of Arizona and psychologist Herbert Barry III of the University of Pittsburgh reviewed research on teens in 186 preindustrial societies. Among the important conclusions they drew about these societies: about 60 percent had no word for “adolescence,” teens spent almost
all their time with adults, teens showed almost no signs of psychopathology, and antisocial behavior in young males was completely absent in more than half these cultures and extremely mild in cultures in which it did occur.

Even more significant, a series of long-term studies set in motion in the 1980s by anthropologists Beatrice Whiting and John Whiting of Harvard University suggests that teen trouble begins to appear in other cultures soon after the introduction of certain Western influences, especially Western-style schooling, television programs andmovies. Delinquency was not an issue among the Inuit people of Victoria Island, Canada, for example, until TV arrived in 1980. By 1988 the Inuit had created their first permanent police station to try to cope with the new problem.

Consistent with these modern observations, many historians note that through most of recorded human history the teen years were a relatively peaceful time of transition to adulthood.

Teens were not trying to break away from adults; rather they were learning to become adults. Some historians, such as Hugh Cunningham of the University of Kent in England and Marc Kleijwegt of the University of Wisconsin–Madison, author of Ancient Youth: The Ambiguity of Youth and the Absence of Adolescence in Greco-Roman Society (J. C. Gieben, 1991), suggest that the tumultuous period we call adolescence is a very recent phenomenon—not much more than a century old.

FAST FACTS from the Article:

Troubled Teens
1) Various imaging studies of brain activity and anatomy find that teens and adults use their brains somewhat differently when performing certain tasks. These studies are
said to support the idea that an immature “teen brain” accounts for teen mood and behavior problems.
2) But, the author argues, snapshots of brain activity do not necessarily identify the causes of such problems. Culture, nutrition and even the teen’s own behavior all affect
brain development. A variety of research in several fields suggest that teen turmoil is caused by cultural factors, not by a faulty brain.
3) Anthropological research reveals that teens in many cultures experience no turmoil whatsoever and that teen problems begin to appear only after Western schooling, movies and television are introduced.
4) Teens have the potential to perform in exemplary ways, the author says, but we hold them back by infantilizing them and trapping them in the frivolous world of teen culture. 

WHY are we parents doing our best to turn our own youth, our precious sons and daughters, into annoying teenagers?! Why are we holding them back in their progression, and cutting their potential short?

If we could get past all the myths we've been taught, and in turn allow our youth to be the adults God designed them to be, can you imagine how society would change?

My mind is reeling from the thought of it.

The Land of Normal

Illustration by Gary Larson

Last Fall we had a new student join our homeschool classes. We hosted these classes once a week for youth ages 12 and up in our home. It was a great way for our youth to learn with other like-minded teens who value similar things like family, reading books, high standards, lots of studying, etc..

This particular young lady was not only new to our classes, but she was new to homeschooling. She had had a rough time in Middle School, and had begged her mom to bring her home. She was a beautiful girl, and very smart, but she really struggled in our classes. She seemed to focus a lot on her appearance, she was always on her phone texting, and she continuously complained about-- well, everything. She was a quintessential teenager.

One day, the dozen or so youth in our Shakespeare class were having a lively discussion and this young lady in frustration flung out the sentence "Ugh! You guys are so WEIRD!"

The other students blinked, looked at her in amazement, and said with smiles, "Yeah, we know."

She was shocked. Here she was, delivering one of the greatest insults in all of normalcy, and those "weird" kids were taking it as a huge compliment!

She quit after the first semester, and we've never seen her at any other homeschool gatherings-- I'm assuming she went back to school where she can feel "normal" again.

Like the "weird" students in my class (four of which were my own children), I've come to feel that being called "weird" is actually a compliment. I grew up in the Land of Normal, constantly comparing myself to my peers, whether it was in my appearance, my intelligence, or my abilities. Though I wanted to "fit in" and be accepted, I never felt that I ever measured up to what I "should be." I was told I was too loud and obnoxious, not smart enough, and definitely not thin or rich enough.

The battleground youth face every day creates a trail of broken hearts that rarely heal into adulthood. I know; I've been there! It's sad, because coming to accept myself as I am has taken me years and years-- and it continues on.

BUT, it has been so refreshing, so cleansing, so freeing to stand up and say, "I am going to try something different. And I DON'T CARE WHAT THE LAND OF NORMAL THINKS!"

Ahhhh. (Feels good!)

The Land of Normal is a very comfortable place for most people to stay. But where has normalcy actually brought us as a society? To materialism, body obsession, debt, ignorance, and down-right denial about the state we're in. (Heaven forbid we ever do something "weird!")

The citizens of the Land of Normal frequently shake their heads at me, my family, and my friends and all our "weirdness"-- some even giving me helpful advice like "You're crazy!" or "I'm really worried about your kids," or "What about the prom?!"

I'm finally okay with who I am-- that I'm "WEIRD." Remember, I think being called "weird" is a huge compliment.

Charity: The Pure Love of Christ

Quote attributed to Plato

"Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing."

"And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing."

 "Wherefore, my beloved brethren, if ye have not charity, ye are nothing, for charity never faileth. Wherefore, cleave unto charity, which is the greatest of all... Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. Charity never faileth:" (1 Corinthians 13: 1-8)

 "But charity is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever; and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him." (Moroni 7:47)

Lately, I have been thinking a lot about the word CHARITY. Not simply in general terms, but what it means in my life. How do I treat others-- those I know, those that are strangers, those who live in my home? Am I dismissing, pre-judging, trampling those I come in contact with? Or do they feel happier and uplifted because I was kind and understanding?

We children of God have the potential to do sooo much good! There is so much negativity, so much criticism in this world. Are we part of the problem, or are we different, because we know and love Christ? Are we building others up, sharing the pure love of Christ; or are we tearing people down, breaking hearts, treading on tender feelings?

Artwork by Greg Olsen

I have learned that CHARITY is not just about giving to the needy, it's not just feeling concern for people, or even about praying for others.

It means treating others like Christ would treat them.

Everyone needs to be loved, understood. Every person is a child of God, and needs to be valued.

And sometimes, all it takes to make people feel the love of Christ is to receive a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, or a hug.

One of my favorite quotes about the worth of souls comes from C.S. Lewis:

It may be possible for each to think too much of his own potential glory hereafter; it is hardly possible for him to think too often or too deeply about that of his neighbour. The load, or weight, or burden of my neighbour's glory should be laid on my back, a load so heavy that only humility can carry it, and the backs of the proud will be broken.

It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest and most uninteresting person you can talk to may one day be a creature which, if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship, or else a horror and a corruption such as you now meet, if at all, only in a nightmare.

All day long we are, to some degree, helping each other to one or other of these destinations. It is in the light of these overwhelming possibilities, it is with the awe and the circumspection proper to them, that we should conduct all our dealings with one another, all friendships, all loves, all play, all politics.

There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. Nations, cultures, arts, civilisations-- these are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub, and exploit-- immortal horrors or everlasting splendours.

From the LDS Scriptures in Doctrine and Covenants, Section 18, verse 10:

Remember the worth of souls is great in the sight of God;

Sister Mary N. Cook said this at the last LDS Young Women's Broadcast:

"Benevolent is a lovely word that we don’t hear very often. Its roots are Latin, and it means 'to wish someone well.' To be benevolent is to be kind, well meaning, and charitable... Our Savior taught us about and lived a benevolent life. Jesus loved all and He served all. Centering our lives on Jesus Christ will help us acquire this attribute of benevolence. For us to develop these same Christlike attributes, we must learn about the Savior and 'follow in His ways.'"⁴

"President Thomas S. Monson taught us how to interact with our peers and everyone we meet when he told the young women of the Church, 'My precious young sisters, I plead with you to have the courage to refrain from judging and criticizing those around you, as well as the courage to make certain everyone is included and feels loved and valued.'"

We do not know the battles that other people are fighting, as we go through life's journey. If we treat others as Christ would treat them, we will not only please our Heavenly Father, but we may bring someone else to Christ.

We can all be a little kinder, more gentle, more benevolent. WE CAN HAVE MORE CHARITY, which is the pure love of Christ.

Why I'm Quitting Facebook

"Lady Looking at Drawings" by Adolpho Belimbau, 1894

... {Or maybe I should title this post "Goodbye Facebook, Hello Life!"}

It is no secret that I have loved spending time on Facebook. I am a BIGTIME social butterfly, and FB made it so very easy to not only connect, but "hang out" with some of my favorite people in the universe-- especially friends I haven't seen in ages or family members I don't get the chance to see very often.

BUT... Starting today, I am quitting, jumping ship, abandoning cyberspace, whatever you want to call it, because I need to be a big girl and LIVE MY LIFE.

For anyone who'd like me to be more specific, I give you my "Reasons Why I'm Quitting Facebook" List:

MY REASON NUMBER ONE:  

It is frightening, but true, that my house, my family, and MY CHILDREN have suffered because of all this wonderful socializing I've been doing. My children would have an easier time recognizing the back of my head in a crowd than they would know me seeing my face.

And that is, frankly, TRAGIC.

My kids are growing up, moving on, and they need a REAL MOTHER. With a face and everything.

REASON NUMBER 2:

I'm sure this will shock everyone, but I have a very addictive personality. With almost anything (well, anything pleasant) I don't hesitate-- I JUMP in with both feet!

And Facebook has been no different for me. For example, I have almost 600 friends, I have a ton of pictures posted, I change my profile picture and information at least every month, if not every week, and I feel it is my duty to comment or "Like" all of my friends' posts, pictures, links, and notes. (What if someone thinks I don't like them?!)

REASON NUMBER 3:

I am in the midst of several IMPORTANT writing projects, and I have sadly been wasting my precious, scheduled "Writing Time" hanging out on Facebook. And so the only writing that's been happening has been rushed, poorly-written blog articles. And only because of deadlines. Oops.

I have finally realized that typing LOL and {{{HUGS}}} over and over again is not really helping me improve my writing skills-- ya know?

REASON NUMBER 4:

I recently had an epiphany about Facebook itself. In the last few weeks, Facebook has changed its format-- which it does quite often.

But this recent change really frustrated me. It came right at a time when I was trying to reasonably reduce the amount of time I was wasting there, and yet the new changes were taking away my choices of what friends and stories I wanted to see. It also added a feature that showed everything that my friends were saying, commenting on, posting to OTHER friends-- people I do not know.

The privacy issues at Facebook are now more intrusive than ever. And with all the "Friends" I have on Facebook, I have neither the time nor inclination to comb through every friend and change my settings for them.

Not only that, how could I know that ALL my friends would also be willing to do the same for me? It was like, the people at Facebook were TRYING to get me to waste more of my time there, adjusting and fixing everything, and getting comfortable with the new format.

And then it hit me. Right between the eyes.

YES! They WANT me to WASTE MY TIME hanging out on Facebook. 

But why? What do they care?

BECAUSE, the more time people STAY on Facebook, the more likely people are to click on an ad, (supporting their sponsors, which is how they earn money) or play a game where I spend money on non-existent items.

Guess what, folks? FACEBOOK IS THE NEW TELEVISION. Facebook keeps people distracted, busy, obsessed with doing NOTHING, all in the name of earning money. Sound familiar?

I used to think that Facebook was "The New Town Square," the place where "The Great Debate" was going on. I am now ashamed to say that I talked MANY people into joining Facebook using this argument.

But it's not true.

Does anyone really do any deep, meaningful thinking while they're on Facebook?

How about nurturing relationships--with those CLOSEST to us???

Does Facebook make our homes happier places?

Does it add to, or take away from, our family togetherness?

I think these are questions worth asking. And so I did.

And the answer I came to was that even though Facebook is an ego-boost for me, even though I enjoy yakking to everyone else in the world, and even though I've been able to stay in touch with many wonderful people, I find myself with a choice-- as my wonderful cousin-in-love ReNee put it-- between GOOD, BETTER, and BEST.

And today, I've chosen.

P.S.-- I will keep my blogs attached to my Facebook account, so that anyone who wants to know what's going on with me and mine can stay in touch. I have decided that the Blogosphere is really where "the Great Conversation" is happening, and I'll be working on my writing skills there. I would also love an e-mail from any of my friends and family, as well. You can always get in touch with me at libermama at gmail dot com. 

Love,
Rachel

Life Lessons

What a week this has been! But before I begin, I am not having a pity party, and I am not trying to get anyone to feel sorry for me. Rather, I have learned so much this week, that I simply HAVE to record all the tender feelings and life lessons I have learned, so that I never, ever forget to be kind and treat all God's children as the miracles they are.

Monday, I woke up to find that I was miscarrying.

*sigh*

This is the second miscarriage I have had since Eryn was born, the previous one happening on April Fool's day of this year. That makes six total for me.

I was only a few weeks along, but I was looking forward to having another sweet baby. I know my time of bearing children is nearly over, but I don't feel ready yet! I want to invite all the children God wants us to care for, and one more boy would be such a beautiful end to the wonderful family we have been blessed with.

But there are MY plans, and then there are GOD's plans. And I hope I finally know from personal experience that His always work out better than my own.

Monday was the day before my birthday. I thought that was hard enough.

The next day, I got word that a hastily written and posted article I had authored was not only being hotly debated, but that I had become the subject of ridicule and scorn.

My first reaction was to feel defensive about it, and justify my strongly-worded article. But as the day wore on, I decided to let go of any hurt and shock I was feeling, and just take in the criticism with a peaceful heart.

I now realize how the Lord had humbled me in preparation for a hurtful situation. I could have cried and sworn off of writing forever, or I could have waded into the discussion with indignation and anger. Instead, I found myself being changed and refined.

A few days later, I read this for the second time this year, and cried as I thought about the people I may have hurt with my opinionated article. And then, yesterday, my sweet Russell took me to see "The Help" and I sobbed all over again.

We are all fragile. Each person on this earth has magnificent hopes, crippling fears, and astounding dreams. And all of us sometime rush in with passion, unknowingly bumping and bruising souls all along the way.

I am sorry.

I am so sorry.

It was not-- it IS not-- my duty to rush in and "set people straight."

My words cannot be taken back. But I CAN learn a lesson from this experience. I CAN love people more fully, more tenderly, more sincerely, and more kindly.

I am so grateful for the chance to begin again.

"Remember that whatsoever measure you mete out to others, it shall be measured to you again." ~Joseph Smith

Summertime-- It's All About Attitude!

(Artist and Title Unknown)

I'd give all wealth that years have piled,
The slow result of Life's decay,
To be once more a little child
For one bright summer day.
("Solitude" by Lewis Carroll)

 I was recently asked by the Relief Society (my church's women's organization) in my ward to put together and present a workshop on "Boredom Busters: What to do with your kids in the summer".

*gulp*

Now, I'm not scared or nervous to teach a class or talk in front of people. In fact, it's one of my favorite things to do! HOWEVER, as you should know if you're familiar with my blog here, I have some strong opinions about certain issues, and the idea of teaching a class on what moms can plan and do to keep their kids "busy" in the summer could have been dangerous territory for ALL of us!

But, as I pondered about it, and discussed it with my husband, my mom, and a good friend I greatly admire, I came to the conclusion that the women on the activity committee must have been inspired to ask me, so I was going to go forward with kindness, love, while still being true to myself and my convictions.

I am happy to report that it was well received, and I felt peaceful about delivering the words that Heavenly Father wanted me to say. WHEW!

I've been planning to share my notes from the class for a while, but when I read this awesome article today, I knew I had to be brave here on my blog, as well, and share what I presented to the wonderful ladies in my amazing ward. (Love you gals!) I think that now, at the beginning of summer, is the ideal time! So here goes:

Summertime: It's All About Attitude!

I have two questions to ask you.

1. What are the complaints you get from your children throughout the summer?

2. Now, what are the words that YOU think of when you contemplate your children being with you every day, all day long in the summer?

Now look at your two answers. Do you see a similar theme running between the two? When you think of your honest responses to both questions, do you sense a connection?

May I suggest that both the children in our homes-- AND us-- need an attitude adjustment!

Seeing Summertime as an Opportunity

Instead of seeing summer vacation as a trial, with attempts to fill every moment of our childrens' days with things to do outside our homes, I challenge us to see the summer months as an OPPORTUNITY to re-connect with our children. A phrase that's been playing over and over again in my head these last few months is this:

"Behold Your Little Ones"

 A recent conference address given by the LDS General Primary President, Jean A. Stevens, has reinforced what this phrase means in our every day lives:

Elder M. Russell Ballard has taught us the importance of the Savior’s admonition to 'behold your little ones' when he said: 'Notice that He didn’t say ‘glance at them’ or ‘casually observe them’ or ‘occasionally take a look in their general direction.’ He said to behold them. To me that means that we should embrace them with our eyes and with our hearts; we should see and appreciate them for who they really are: spirit children of our Heavenly Father, with divine attributes' " (“Behold Your Little Ones,” Tambuli, Oct. 1994, 40; emphasis added; “Great Shall Be the Peace of Thy Children,” Ensign, Apr. 1994, 59).

Are we stopping in all of our rushing about to behold-- really SEE-- our children? Are they strangers to us? Do we know their hopes, their dreams, their concerns? When was the last time we looked in the eyes of our children to see their very souls?

Our time with our children is so fleeting, and we have only a few years where they are under our influence and in our homes. Are we taking advantage of this time? Are we cherishing these moments with OUR little ones?

LDS President Thomas S. Monson has said the following:

"My brothers and sisters, time with your children is fleeting. Do not put off being with them now. Someone put it another way: Live only for tomorrow, and you will have a lot of empty yesterdays today." (April 2005 General Conference)

  
Four-Letter Words
When we have our children at home with us during school breaks, we are given the great gift of TIME. I would like to share four other four-letter words that can help us know what to do with our kids, while we have them all to ourselves.

Our Little Girls Demonstrating Free PLAY Time

 I. PLAY: This should say it all! Children need time to run, explore, soak up the sun, climb trees, make mud pies, and use their imaginations. THEY CANNOT DO THIS IF WE OVER-SCHEDULE THEIR TIME OR LET THEM FILL IT WITH MEDIA DISTRACTIONS.

Rousseau framed childhood with this thought.:

"You are worried about seeing him spend his early years in doing nothing. What! Is it nothing to be happy? Nothing to skip, play, and run around all day long? never in his life will he be so busy again."

Children learn best through free, unstructured play. When parents over-schedule or over-stimulate their children, they are robbing them of the chance to think, explore, imagine, and think about the great things in the universe. There have been several articles* in recent years about the toll that over-scheduling is taking on families. And when our children are being electronically stimulated by game consoles, television, movies, or computer games, they are NOT able to let their minds wander and ponder.

I think it can be a fun and exciting family challenge to try a Media or Game Fast for a few days, a week, or even a month, during the summer. But we can't just empty the time, and then walk away from our children. We can play with them! Give them ideas of things to try, like building a fort out of cushions and blankets, catching bugs, going on nature walks, or running through the sprinklers. We need to remember that kids spell "LOVE" T.I.M.E.. How much of it are we spending with them?

That brings me to the second "Four-Letter Word":
  

Sisterly LOVE

 II. LOVE:

Summertime gives us more opportunities to say "I love you," and to spend time face to face with our little ones. Love is what urges us to share our testimonies with our children. When we share that precious possession with our children, we are giving them our greatest treasure! Our love for our children is only enriched and enlarged by our love for our Heavenly Father.

Do our children know, feel, and see our devotion to truth? Do they know what we believe? What we reverence?

Margaret S. Lifferth put it this way:

"Children are open to gospel truths more than at any other time, and protected childhood is literally a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to teach and strengthen children to choose the right."

Fredrick Douglass once said:

"It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men."

Summertime is a wonderful time to help nurture and build our children's personal testimonies!

We can also show our love for our children by establishing new, or reinforcing old, traditions. Is there something we can try this summer that we've always wanted to try? A small town Independence Day parade? A camping trip or two? A visit to relatives at the Family Reunion?

Traditions. Make some!

Caught in the Act of Cleaning!

III. WORK:

School vacations are a FABULOUS time to teach our children how to WORK! We all want our children to leave our homes knowing how to care for themselves. All parents hope their kids will step out into the world as capable, independent people. But when our kids are always gone from home, how can they learn the skills they need? The schools are not the place for them to learn those things, and sports practices, music and dance lessons, and loads of homework keep the teaching of home skills at bay, as well.

So, vacation time can be a great gift to parents, if we utilize it. If we have older children, the domestic clocks are really ticking away, and we should start teaching life skills NOW.

Assigning chores is important. However, our children cannot succeed at housework until they are taught HOW the work should be done. Family Work-- work done together-- is the key to this teaching. The very best advice on how to implement a culture of Family Work is found in an amazing article by Kathleen Slaugh Bahr of Brigham Young University.

Sister Bahr gives us lots of reasons why Family Work is so important. (This is a LONG quote, but it's all so good!):

"Ironically, it is the very things commonly disliked about family work that offer the greatest possibilities for nurturing close relationships and forging family ties. Some people dislike family work because, they say, it is mindless. Yet chores that can be done with a minimum of concentration leave our minds free to focus on one another as we work together. We can talk, sing, or tell stories as we work. Working side by side tends to dissolve feelings of hierarchy, making it easier for children to discuss topics of concern with their parents. Unlike play, which usually requires mental concentration as well as physical involvement, family work invites intimate conversation between parent and child."

"We also tend to think of household work as menial, and much of it is. Yet, because it is menial, even the smallest child can make a meaningful contribution. Children can learn to fold laundry, wash windows, or sort silverware with sufficient skill to feel valued as part of the family. Since daily tasks range from the simple to the complex, participants at every level can feel competent yet challenged, including the parents with their overall responsibility for coordinating tasks, people, and projects into a cooperative, working whole."

"Another characteristic of ordinary family work that gives it such power is repetition. Almost as quickly as it is done, it must be redone. Dust gathers on furniture, dirt accumulates on floors, beds get messed up, children get hungry and dirty, meals are eaten, clothes become soiled. As any homemaker can tell you, the work is never done. When compared with the qualities of work that are prized in the public sphere, this aspect of family work seems to be just another reason to devalue it. However, each rendering of a task is a new invitation for all to enter the family circle. The most ordinary chores can become daily rituals of family love and belonging. Family identity is built moment by moment amidst the talking and teasing, the singing and storytelling, and even the quarreling and anguish that may attend such work sessions."

"Some people also insist that family work is demeaning because it involves cleaning up after others in the most personal manner. Yet, in so doing, we observe their vulnerability and weaknesses in a way that forces us to admit that life is only possible day-to-day by the grace of God. We are also reminded of our own dependence on others who have done, and will do, such work for us. We are reminded that when we are fed, we could be hungry; when we are clean, we could be dirty; and when we are healthy and strong, we could be feeble and dependent. Family work is thus humbling work, helping us to acknowledge our unavoidable interdependence; encouraging (even requiring) us to sacrifice "self" for the good of the whole." ~(Family Work by Kathleen Slaugh Bahr)

Former President of the LDS Church, Spencer W. Kimball stated the reasons for Family Work beautifully:

"Who can gauge the value of that special chat between daughter and Dad as they weed or water the garden? ... And how do we measure the family togetherness and cooperating that must accompany successful canning? Yes, we are laying resources in store, but perhaps the greater good is contained in the lessons of life we learn."

Sister Reading to Brother

IV. READ


There is power in a shared experience, and when we share a great book with our children, we have something wonderful to discuss! When we cry together, sit at the edge of our seats in suspense, and laugh at funny circumstances, we bond together as a family. And when the story is an enriching tale filled with the struggle between good and evil, we are also teaching our children important lessons they would never learn from sitting through a parental lecture.

When we read "out of the best books" (Doctrine and Covenants 88:118), we learn about the intricacies of human nature, about the differences between right and wrong. We also learn how to transform ourselves into the people God needs us to be.

When we read as a family, we should also take it one step further, and have those discussions which modern laws forbid the classroom to have. We should reinforce the lessons these good books teach us. Would we be strong enough to act as Jane Eyre did? Is it right to choose romantic love above personal convictions? What is right? What is wrong? What would WE do in that character's place? Our children need to be able to answer the vital questions we ask.  The Socratic Method can be utilized, and every parent can begin those kinds of great discussions with the simple question of "Why?".

Great books inspire us, they change us. And when we read great books together as a family, we can ALL be transformed!

Pile on Dad!

HOME IS A HAVEN

Our homes should be the sanctuaries our children run to, away from the chaos and turmoil of the world. In their time at home, they are OURS alone, if we turn off the media and the distractions, allowing them to be our own.

Think of all the wonderful possibilities this summer holds for our families! Let's laugh together! Learn together! Play together! Sing together! Work together! Read together!

I challenge each of us to try some of these things together with our families during school breaks this year. The Lord will help us!

It never takes a "special kind of mom" to spend time with her children.

It only takes an inspired one.


Love,
Rachel

*Links to articles on over-scheduling children:  
1. http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200301/the-overbooked-child
2. http://www.parenthood.com/article-topics/overscheduled_children.html 
3. http://www.movingandlearning.com/Resources/Articles16.htm 

A Homeschool Opinion Post

I hope my friends and family will forgive me. If you think you might be offended by my opinions on homeschooling, please feel free to skip this post. But there are some things I just HAVE to say today, and I cannot rest until I've said them here.

Usually, when other parents find out I homeschool, I get one of two reactions.

1) "Really?! Are you crazy? Aren't you afraid your kids will turn out weird/unsocialized/dorky/uneducated? Why do you think you're qualified to teach your kids everything they're going to need to know?"

OR

2) "Really? Wow. I could never do that. You must be a saint/have so much patience. But, you know, if things ever got bad enough, I'd homeschool my kids, too."

My concern doesn't ever lie with the first response. If I get that reaction, I automatically assume that the person responding is very close minded, and/or lives their life in fear. I have nothing more to say to them on the subject, so I usually just smile and walk away.

However, the second reaction always puzzles me. Today, I'd like to say here what I am not usually brave enough to say to someone's face. *gulp* Bear with me, and know that I love my family and friends. I am not writing this to offend you. But I am in a quandary over the idea of what "if things ever get bad enough" means. 

What DOES it mean???

What constitutes "Bad Enough" for YOU? Because I reached my limits on what's "Bad Enough" years and years ago.

Let me 'splain.

Reason #1 why I think public education is "Bad Enough": 

I believe that PARENTS, not the State, have a divine stewardship to raise and teach children.

Just this morning, parents in two different states got the same reaction on closing school due to weather concerns from school officials in their respective states. In a nutshell, parents were told that they couldn't shut down schools today because of all the students that "needed" to be provided food, warmth, and babysitting services, even when the weather is bad.

To directly quote the Superintendent of Denver Public Schools:

“Equally important in making our decision was the consideration for the thousands of our families of working parents who are on moderate incomes, have few to no child-care options, don't get paid days off from their jobs, and therefore face a huge burden when schools are closed for a second day, while private-sector and other public-sector employers are open.”

“Our schools also serve tens of thousands of children who come from low-income households. Schools are not only are vital places of learning for those students, but they are also in many cases the only place where these students get two free hot meals a day, health care, counseling and support services. We felt it was the right thing to do to give our parents the option of sending their kids to school.”

“We consider our schools to be learning centers as well as community centers where children and families can get help with health and other social-service needs. And we feel an obligation to the public we serve to keep our schools open as much as possible.”

Do you hear what this Superintendent is saying?  He is saying that without the state-run school, "tens of thousands" of students would go hungry, not have health care, counseling, or CHILDCARE. Gee, did this man just say that school is glorified BABYSITTING?! Um, yes. Yes, he did.

Wow. Where, may I venture to ask, are the PARENTS of these children? This school official is telling us that because parents are "low income", they NEED schools to be open, or else they could not parent their children on their own??? If this is true, then our nation and educational system is in a sadder, scarier state than ANY of us could have imagined!

The attitude that "schools parent children better than their own parents" is not new-- not by any stretch. Remember the people that love to question my abilities to homeschool my children? They ask me this because THEY don't feel "qualified" to teach their kids. It makes me wonder why they feel that way, especially if they feel their own public education-- and, consequently, the education their children are getting-- was completely adequate.

I am a HUGE proponent of Parent Rights. I believe that the right to parent comes from God, and NOT the State. When parents believe that others are more qualified to care for and teach their children, they are handing the State the right to parent, teach, and nurture their offspring. So when the state assumes the role of "The Protector" and "The Expert", how can parents be shocked by their audacity?

Here is an example of out-of-control state-run schools. How would YOU like to be graded as a parent?

"Last Thursday, CNN reported that a Florida legislator has proposed a bill that would have public school teachers issuing a grade to parents. Yes, grading the parents. HB 255 provides that “each prekindergarten through grade 3 student report card shall include a section in which the teacher grades the parental involvement as satisfactory, needs improvement, or unsatisfactory…” based on criteria set by the bill."

"The whole idea of setting up public schools as overseers of parents is one more sign that American parental rights are in danger. Parents should not have to answer to government agents unless and until there is solid evidence of abuse or neglect on the part of that parent. Giving a grade to every parent clearly violates this constitutional principle."

"In fact, this bill would espouse the same foundational principle as the UN’s Convention on the Rights of the Child: assume that all parents are bad parents, and that only government oversight can save our children from parental incompetence. "

Parents should NEVER answer to schools. Rather, schools, teachers, and administrators should answer to the PARENTS in their communities. Do any parents out there disagree with me on that?

Reason #2 why I think public education is "Bad Enough": 

Schools don't actually want students to be literate or think for themselves.

When I felt I should learn more about homeschooling, I studied the history of education in America. Did you know that compulsory schooling laws were not instituted across America until the late 1800's? Did you know that parents used to do the hiring and firing of ALL teachers in their communities BEFORE then? Did you know that education-- actual learning-- in America has gotten worse EVERY YEAR since the institution of compulsory education laws?

If less educated, more ignorant students is the result of compulsory education for all children, then WHY were those laws and ideas instituted?

Professional educator and former New York State Teacher of the Year, John Taylor Gatto explains it this way:

"The structure of American schooling, 20th-century style, began in 1806 when Napoleon's amateur soldiers beat the professional soldiers of Prussia at the battle of Jena. When your business is selling soldiers, losing a battle like that is serious. Almost immediately afterward a German philosopher named Fichte delivered his famous 'Address to the German Nation' which became one of the most influential documents in modern history. In effect he told the Prussian people that the party was over, that the nation would have to shape up through a new Utopian institution of forced schooling in which everyone would learn to take orders. So the world got compulsion schooling at the end of a state bayonet for the first time in human history; modern forced schooling started in Prussia in 1819 with a clear vision of what centralized schools could deliver:"

"Obedient soldiers to the army; Obedient workers to the mines; Well subordinated civil servants to government; Well subordinated clerks to industry; Citizens who thought alike about major issues."

"Schools should create an artificial national consensus on matters that had been worked out in advance by leading German families and the head of institutions. Schools should create unity among all the German states, eventually unifying them into Greater Prussia.

"Prussian industry boomed from the beginning. She was successful in warfare and her reputation in international affairs was very high. Twenty-six years after this form of schooling began, the King of Prussia was invited to North America to determine the boundary between the United States and Canada. Thirty-three years after that fateful invention of the central school institution, at the behest of Horace Mann and many other leading citizens, we borrowed the style of Prussian schooling as our own."

  President Abraham Lincoln simply said it this way:

"The philosophy of the classroom today will be the philosophy of government tomorrow."

State-Run schools have an agenda to teach children NOT to think. (Please read the ENTIRE article by Mr. Gatto I've linked to above, to fully understand the history of compulsory education.) Many parents refuse to believe this. It's unpleasant. It's sad. But it's WRONG, and parents should not sit by and refuse to see it happening. "Not in MY school district." "I live in a little town." "Stuff like that only happens in California or New York."

I hate to tell you, friends, but the curriculum and the standards are the same across the United States. The SAME textbooks, lessons, methods, and ideals are being taught NATIONWIDE. Not only can it happen, it's already been going on for more than two generations. Whistling in the dark will not change that.

Just consider that it might be true. Is that "Bad enough"?

Reason #3 Why I Think Public Education is "Bad Enough":

The current atmosphere in public schools is spiritually damaging to children of ALL ages.

I have heard countless friends, family members, and fellow church members tell me that they want their children to go to school and "be a light" to children with no spiritual upbringing. My question is: Do you really feel your 5 year old is strong enough spiritually to stand up and tell their teacher that evolution is wrong, and that Heavenly Father made the earth? Really? 

Maybe your children are stronger than mine, but I didn't have one that knew their own minds about sex, evolution, or homosexuality before the age of 12. (All of which is being forced on Kindergarten students.) At the MINIMUM. Half of what I just listed was not on their radar, as children. I guess they could have invited their atheistically-raised playmate to Primary, but how do children combat the falsehoods their teachers teach them? After all, most children love and idolize their teachers. 

Public-schooled children spend at least FOUR TIMES the amount of time with their teachers and schoolmates than they spend with their parents and siblings. They follow their rules, abide by their standards, and are not allowed to pray, mention God, or proselyte the Gospel to their friends on school property. (My little Activity Day girls recently informed me it's against their school's rules to give any of their friends a Book of Mormon on school property, and that they are not allowed to invite their friends to church or any church activities at school.) So how can they be "a light" again?

I went to public school in a small town, with a high population of LDS students. We went to release-time seminary during school hours. The seminary teachers were great, and there were some kids with high standards. But not nearly as many acted like the Latter-Days Saints they supposedly were. In my high school, you were NOBODY if you didn't have a steady boyfriend or girlfriend. Even among my "good" friends, make-out sessions and the watching of rated-R movies happened on a regular basis. Seminary was something to "ditch" or "suffer through." Music lyrics and dancing at school AND STAKE DANCES, was lewd and obscene.

The fruits of Public Schooling is not "lovely, virtuous, of good report, or praiseworthy." Public School is a spiritual trial for youth, where they only come out with strong testimonies intact if they completely distance themselves socially. How ironic.

Reason #4 Why I Think Public Education is "Bad Enough":

We undeniably live in the Last Days we've been warned about. 

On occasion, I have had a friend or associate tell me that "in the Last Days," when it's "Bad Enough," they will just send their kids to me to teach. That we could just start having classes at the church building, and that we could have positive, Gospel-based education for all the kids in the ward. Doesn't that sound great?

Those of you familiar with the scriptures should know the parable of the Ten Virgins. In that parable, was the oil available for ALL of the virgins to buy? Yes. But when did the wise virgins buy their oil? When there was NO indication that the bridgroom was tarrying. And when did the foolish virgins realize that they were short the oil they needed? When it was too late.

Now, I'm not saying that I'm better than anyone, ('cuz I'm pretty pathetic) or that I would deny anyone the help that they might need, should they choose to teach their own children at home. What I AM saying, is that like food storage, or emergency supplies, I am working on my own family's needs right now. IF I have excess, OF COURSE I will share! But I cannot give anyone the knowledge and the experience I have gleaned over the years. And I cannot turn into the only teacher for the ward's needs, should it "get bad enough." But I can do my best to encourage, to suggest things, and to help all I can. 

Yet I cannot give anyone else my oil. Each family must go and secure their own. 

What I am trying to say through this post, is that would it be so very terrible to consider that right now, today, it's "bad enough" to bring your children home? Would it be so very bad to consider learning about homeschooling as part of "Being Prepared"? Is it really so outrageous to question whether or not your local school district truly has YOUR KIDS as their greatest concern? Because I bet YOU are concerned about YOUR kids. I know that YOU have been given the stewardship over YOUR children, and not the schools.

All I ask is that you open your mind and heart to the possibility that public school is not the best option for Latter-Day Saint families.

Here are a few quotes from leaders of the Church that have reinforced and inspired me to keep homeschooling my children, even though it's not always easy. I hope they might inspire and help my readers simply CONSIDER the idea of homeschool.

"In many places it is literally not safe physically for youngsters to go to school. And in many schools – and it’s becoming almost generally true – it is spiritually unsafe to attend public schools." ~Elder Boyd. K. Packer in 1996 at the David O. McKay Symposium at BYU

Moral values are being neglected and prayer expelled from public schools on the pretext that moral teaching belongs to religion. At the same time, atheism, the secular religion, is admitted to class, and our youngsters are proselyted to a conduct without morality. ~Elder Boyd. K. Packer, General Conference, April 1994

“Because of our sacred regard for each human intellect, we consider the obtaining of an education to be a religious responsibility. Yet opportunities and abilities differ. I believe that in the pursuit of education, individual desire is more influential than institution, and personal faith more forceful than faculty.” ~Elder Russell M. Nelson, Ensign, Nov. 1992

"Do the Saints need perfecting? Yes... People would not be found shuffling their children over into the hands of the enemy to be educated... If such people ever get into the celestial kingdom... they will find the children that might have been there with them, wallowing in misery; and those children will point up to them, if they may, and say, “Father! Mother! I blame you for this; for it was you that led me to it.” I tell you such people will sup sorrow in this world and in the world to come. Therefore, be careful how you treat your children: act the part of fathers and mothers to them, and not the part of unnatural monsters, who, having been enlightened to a degree by the Spirit of the Lord, trample under foot the things of God, and cast your offspring into the arms of the corrupt, of the evil, and of those who are seeking your life, and striving to destroy you.” ~John Taylor, Journal of Discourses, Volume 24, 12/9/1883, “The Age in Which We Live, Etc.”

Even if you feel you cannot consider homeschooling for YOUR children at this time, I hope and pray that you can now see homeschooling as something that is not as "out there" or "strange" or "crazy", as you might have thought before.

I hope you can see it as not just "do-able," but also as "desirable"-- should "things get bad enough."

Love,
Rachel

Youth Standards

Artwork by Norman Rockwell

Okay, so there have a been a few little bits of "drama" that have been going on in my kids circle of friends that prompts me to write down my thoughts and ideas on the matter.

First of all, our family subscribes to the standards set forth in the booklet called "For the Strength of Youth" put out by our church (The LDS Church, a.k.a. "Mormon"). This is a wonderful guide for our whole family to follow, because it reminds us of the scriptural teachings regarding morality and spirituality that will bring us closer to Christ.

Image courtesy of lds.org

One thing in particular that we are currently dealing with, is when youth not of our faith don't understand my kids' standards with regard to DATING and PAIRING OFF. Here is what "For the Strength of Youth" says about it:

Not all teenagers need to date or even want to. Many young people do not date during their teen years because they are not yet interested, do not have opportunities, or simply want to delay forming serious relationships. However, good friendships can and should be developed at every age.

When you begin dating, go in groups or on double dates. Avoid going on frequent dates with the same person. Make sure your parents meet those you date. You may want to invite your dates to activities with your family. Plan dating activities that are positive and inexpensive and that will help you get to know each other. Do things that will help you and your companions maintain your self-respect and remain close to the Spirit of the Lord. See 2 Corinthians 6:14

Notice the part I highlighted? This is where our family has decided to be in terms of dating until our youth are of marriageable age. We will allow casual group dating when we know the family well, AND when those they will be dating are of our same faith.

Recently, one of my oldest boys received a long, romantic poem written for him by a young lady in our circle of friends. It actually mortified my son, and caused lots of discomfort and concern for us, as parents. I have gone back and forth as to how to react. Do I share the letter with the young woman's parents? (It was written anonymously, but we're pretty certain as to it's author.) Do we ignore it? Or do we seek to educate this young lady regarding our family standards? Or would that embarrass her?

For now, the letter is in my possession, and I am grateful that my son feels comfortable enough in our relationship to share it with my husband and I. As to what to do about the young lady in question, I'm still praying about it. I will continue to do some sleuthing, and find out FOR SURE who wrote the poem and sent it. I'd appreciate any advice my readers here can give, as well!

One thing I WILL be doing, is laying down the law in my Shakespeare class regarding crushes and silliness between members of the cast. (The poem-letter was delivered during auditions last week. Yeah, I'm pretty UPSET about it!) There is nothing that can destroy the peace in a class, in a production, and in friendships like that kind of nonsense. Grrr!

Your thoughts? (Thanks in advance!)

Becoming "Un-Dragoned"

"The very first tear he made was so deep that I thought it had gone right into my heart. And when he began pulling the skin off, it hurt worse than anything I've ever felt." From The Voyage of the Dawn Treader by C.S. Lewis

My heart and head have been so full these last couple of months. As I alluded to in a recent post, things have been rough this year. Here at home, money has been tight, and clients for Russell have been sporadic, but we're getting more and more used to living on faith alone. This fall, we found out a former neighbor and ward member was killed by his struggling son. And very recently, a hero of our family was arrested and his weaknesses laid out for the world, his family and all his friends to see. So many marriages of those we love have ended or are in major trouble. Dear friends have moved away as our homeschool community has dissolved and scattered to the wind.

Broken hearts seem to be everywhere around us.

Because of all this heartache, my family and I have been clinging to one another even more fiercely and reexamining where our priorities lie. We are rejecting the fruits the world has to offer, because we now see them for what they truly are: flimsy trappings that distract us from the true treasures Heavenly Father offers to all of us.

I love how C.S. Lewis put this in his wonderful work, "The Weight of Glory":

"We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because we cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased."

Surprisingly, we've found that these things have also brought us to the feet of our Savior. We have seen far too many we care about fall over the edge, and we are moving as far away from it as we can get!

Around the same time that this devastation has been happening, we saw the need to abandon a family tradition that Satan had found a way to poison for us. I know this may seem like "no big deal" and "just a little thing" to many, but to us, it was a HUGE test.

Ever since the first Harry Potter movie came out in 2001, we have gone as a family to the first showing. This was usually the ONLY movie we ever spent money on to see with the whole family. (Movie ticket prices add up, even on matinees, when one has a family of thirteen!) We had read the series out loud in our family circle, waiting with baited breath until the next book came out. And we were experiencing the same thrill as each movie came out in theaters. We'd count down the days, and giggle as we headed out the door to stand in line to get a seat in the theater. (Again, finding thirteen seats all together was a job!)

And then, the news came out that the latest, longed-for, LAST movie had nudity in it.

*thud*

We were aghast. No, it couldn't be true. We researched it thoroughly. We found out EXACTLY what the scene was, and what was going on in it. Russell and I decided that we would not, COULD not, support the movie. The production team had gone too far, and we could not condone their actions.

We didn't know how on earth we were going to explain this to our children. I held my breath, thinking, "Please, Lord. I pray we have taught them well enough that they will understand."

And I also prayed that Russell and I would stand strong, and not make excuses that would expose our family to something we would never allow in any other movie they might view. We had to put principles ABOVE tradition.

To my great pleasure and relief, when we told our kids the new movie had nudity in it, their faces fell, and they declared that we could not go see it. There was no arguing, no pleading, no whining. The answer was clear.

So, you can see why we felt like we had passed a test. We had been confronted with a choice. Would we choose our family's chosen "idol"-- or the commandments of the Lord?

And after we made this choice, truth seemed to flow into our hearts and home. We have found things to read and ponder on that continue to bring us closer to Christ. We have rejected more of the world than we ever have before. Our "summer cottage in Babylon" is now a pile of glowing coals. Until we stepped out of the shadow of the idols we had set on a pedestal, we couldn't see the rewards and gifts God had waiting for us in the sun.

As a result of this journey to completely leave Babylon, I have been working every day to have the Spirit with me always, and to invite its presence in our home. I've been battling my weaknesses, and the easy path of the "natural man". I must have been really entrenched in Babylonian culture, because all this living close to the Spirit has been hard work-- definitely not for the faint of heart! I must admit, I feel a little like Eustace in the quote above. But as Eustace further explains:

"The only thing that made me bear it was just the pleasure of feeling the stuff peel off... It hurts like billy-oh but it is such fun to see it coming away."

The other night, Russell and I went with some friends to see the latest Narnia movie, based on "The Voyage of the Dawn Treader", in the theater. I still want to weep when I think about it. And now I wish we had the money to take all of our children to see it. THAT is the kind of movie that I want to support. And I am so very happy that the production team chose to quote so much of the book EXACTLY. Even the part where Aslan tells Lucy she can't come back to Narnia. When she replies that she won't meet him again, he says :

"But you shall meet me, dear one," said Aslan.

"Are-- are you there too, Sir?" said Edmund.

"I am," said Aslan. "But there I have another name. You must learn to know me by that name. This was the very reason why you were brought to Narnia, that by knowing me here for a little, you may know me better there."

 One of the sources of our discussions and ponderings these past few weeks, has been a talk that was given long ago by President Spencer W. Kimball. Below is the link, and a couple of excerpts from it. But PLEASE, read the entire article. It has changed my life for the better, and I know it can help others, too!

The False Gods We Worship

"Whatever thing a man sets his heart and his trust in most is his god; and if his god doesn’t also happen to be the true and living God of Israel, that man is laboring in idolatry."

"As the Lord himself said in our day, 'They seek not the Lord to establish his righteousness, but every man walketh in his own way, and after the image of his own God, whose image is in the likeness of the world, and whose substance is that of an idol, which waxeth old and shall perish in Babylon, even Babylon the great, which shall fall.' (D&C 1:16)

"What are we to fear when the Lord is with us? Can we not take the Lord at his word and exercise a particle of faith in him? Our assignment is affirmative: to forsake the things of the world as ends in themselves; to leave off idolatry and press forward in faith; to carry the gospel to our enemies, that they might no longer be our enemies."

"We must leave off the worship of modern-day idols and a reliance on the “arm of flesh,” for the Lord has said to all the world in our day, 'I will not spare any that remain in Babylon.' (D&C 64:24.)

His message closes with this electric statement:

"We believe that the way for each person and each family to prepare as the Lord has directed is to begin to exercise greater faith, to repent, and to enter into the work of his kingdom on earth, which is The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. It may seem a little difficult at first, but when a person begins to catch a vision of the true work, when he begins to see something of eternity in its true perspective, the blessings begin to far outweigh the cost of leaving 'the world' behind."

"Herein lies the only true happiness, and therefore we invite and welcome all men, everywhere, to join in this work. For those who are determined to serve the Lord at all costs, this is the way to eternal life. All else is but a means to that end."

NOTHING is more important than returning with our spouses and children back into the presence of our Heavenly Father and our Savior.

NOTHING.

Not movies, parties, friends, television shows, clothes, money, ambition, hobbies, Facebook, blogging, Shakespeare, drama, music, sports, lessons, convenience, independence, prosperity, and on and on and on.

Nothing.

As the New Year swiftly approaches, I am examining the things that I am still clinging to in my life that are taking me away from Jesus Christ and my eternal goals.

And it hurts a little. But just like childbirth, the effort will be totally worth it.

Another quote from C.S. Lewis says it perfectly:

"Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on: you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make sense. What on earth is He up to?"

"The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of — throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were going to be made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself."

To finish, I want to quote a man who came to know, while he was battling cancer, what it means to submit to God's plans for our lives. The late Elder Neal A. Maxwell said:

"The submission of one's will is really the only uniquely personal thing we have to place on God's altar. The many other things we 'give' ... are actually the things He has already given or loaned to us." 

 The sacrifices we make will be worth it. I testify this is true. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.