Sunday, September 04, 2011

Life Lessons

What a week this has been! But before I begin, I am not having a pity party, and I am not trying to get anyone to feel sorry for me. Rather, I have learned so much this week, that I simply HAVE to record all the tender feelings and life lessons I have learned, so that I never, ever forget to be kind and treat all God's children as the miracles they are.

Monday, I woke up to find that I was miscarrying.


This is the second miscarriage I have had since Eryn was born, the previous one happening on April Fool's day of this year. That makes six total for me.

I was only a few weeks along, but I was looking forward to having another sweet baby. I know my time of bearing children is nearly over, but I don't feel ready yet! I want to invite all the children God wants us to care for, and one more boy would be such a beautiful end to the wonderful family we have been blessed with.

But there are MY plans, and then there are GOD's plans. And I hope I finally know from personal experience that His always work out better than my own.

Monday was the day before my birthday. I thought that was hard enough.

The next day, I got word that a hastily written and posted article I had authored was not only being hotly debated, but that I had become the subject of ridicule and scorn.

My first reaction was to feel defensive about it, and justify my strongly-worded article. But as the day wore on, I decided to let go of any hurt and shock I was feeling, and just take in the criticism with a peaceful heart.

I now realize how the Lord had humbled me in preparation for a hurtful situation. I could have cried and sworn off of writing forever, or I could have waded into the discussion with indignation and anger. Instead, I found myself being changed and refined.

A few days later, I read this for the second time this year, and cried as I thought about the people I may have hurt with my opinionated article. And then, yesterday, my sweet Russell took me to see "The Help" and I sobbed all over again.

We are all fragile. Each person on this earth has magnificent hopes, crippling fears, and astounding dreams. And all of us sometime rush in with passion, unknowingly bumping and bruising souls all along the way.

I am sorry.

I am so sorry.

It was not-- it IS not-- my duty to rush in and "set people straight."

My words cannot be taken back. But I CAN learn a lesson from this experience. I CAN love people more fully, more tenderly, more sincerely, and more kindly.

I am so grateful for the chance to begin again.
"Remember that whatsoever measure you mete out to others, it shall be measured to you again." ~Joseph Smith


  1. ((HUGS))
    I'm praying for you this week! Trials never seem to come one at a time, do they? I've had several experiences with miscarriage and I understand how much you'll miss this little one until eternity.

    My week had one of those "coming out of left field" trials too (a diagnosis of spina bifida for the growing baby). I just keep telling myself to do one day at a time.

  2. {{{Hugs back at ya!}}} We just never know what heartache others are going through, do we? I will definitely pray for you and yours, too!


  3. Dear Rachel, I am so sorry for your loss. I've experienced six miscarriages as well, and I don't think it ever gets any easier. But you are wise to look for the Lord in this situation. Congratulations that you are still capable of conceiving! A friend of mine (mom of 9) miscarried 5 in a row (and assumed they were done)...she is expecting twins later this month! We may never know why He allows these trials and heartaches, but I stand on the promise of Romans 8:28. Happy birthday to you!

  4. ♥ Hugs to you Rachel! What a difficult week for you. I'm so sorry it's been so hard. My heart goes out to you.

    By sharing what you've learned, you are helping others learn as well. My husband and I watched that video last night. I've been thinking about it ever since.

    Thanks for sharing. ♥

  5. I'm sorry you've had such a trying week. I think the hardest thing about social networking is we all only hear the good, fantastic, super things (and only post those things as well) and never truly see people struggling. I'm so sorry about your miscarriage. Mike and I are struggling (quietly) with a diagnosis of infertility - Mike went on a medication before James was born, which has caused possible permanent damage, and I am heartbroken. I can't imagine how much worse it is to know you're carrying a baby and then "lose" them. My prayers are with you!

  6. Cheryl, thank you for your sweet words of love and hope! {{{Hugs}}} to you!

    Jessi, I hope you and Mike know how much you are loved and being looked out for. You are all in my thoughts and prayers-- I wish I could give you a big hug in person! Someday, dear cousin. Someday!!! {{{HUGS!}}}

    Thanks, Dana! Love you!

  7. Oh Rachel, as I read your sweet words, I thought of Emma Smith and the promise she was given that she would have ALL her children again! I am sorry about your miscarriages! My mothering situation has been very different from many other, but I know that somehow Heavenly Father will work all things out for our good! I ADORE you and you are such a wonderful inspiration to me! Your family is an inspiration! Your thoughts and words and opinions are inspiring to me! I am ever grateful for my association with you! It is refreshing when people tell it like it is! :0) While I hope too, that people don't choose to be offended by things that need to be said, I also think that a lot of good can come from it! Keep on Keepin' On...that's my motto! Heavenly Father loves you and so do I! :0)

  8. I am sorry for your loss. I have yet only had 2 miscarriages and they taught me a lot, and are probably the reason I have as many children as I do.

    I will keep you in mind in my prayers.

    Thanks for the article link too.

  9. thank you for sharing that blog post and the reminder to be kind. sorry for another loss, I have experienced that too, a few times.

  10. Oh Rachel, my heart aches for your loss. I've only had one miscarriage, but they are so hard. Happy (late) Birthday to you though!

    I like that last quote you shared, what a good thing to remember and live. Hugs to you!

  11. Oh those hard learning, growing, stretching moments that we have/need to go through in this life! It doesn't get easier no matter how many or few miscarriages one has.

    Thinking of you!

  12. Thanks, ladies! I really appreciate your kind words. :-)


  13. I'm sorry to hear that Rachel. Many hugs and prayers headed your way!

  14. Hi Rachel. :) I love to blog, and have dabbled in it for many years (wishing I had time to DIVE rather than dabble!) I have read from your blog a little here and there (I haven't had time to be consistent with ANY blog reading!), off and on for many years, and just want you to know it has been a joy to get to know you some! :) I wish it were in person so I could know you better. I can relate to SO MUCH of what you go say!!! Much of it with gratitude, some of it wishing I could not relate, but finding it refreshing to relate none the less. The struggle to not rush in and set people straight is one I also had to learn. :/ Lol :) I have been reminding myself for a few years now of something I learned from Dr. John L. Lund, I believe through the lecture "Love at Home..." I am not the Holy Ghost, and I should not attempt to do His job. ;) (Years ago I thought it was my job as a mother to point out all my kids' mistakes, so they could 'be aware' and correct them. Yikes! Poor kids! :o Somehow they survive! :D) I know it has been a few years since you wrote this, but hugs to you regardless! You are awesome! :) Wishing you and your family a very Merry Christmas!!! Corine Moore :D


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