Homeschooling Teens

This post was originally published at Latter-Day Homeschooling on January 19, 1012. It has been updated and edited since that original post.

Lately it seems that I've been inundated with the desperate question, "How do you keep homeschooling through high school?!" I have some pretty strong opinions on the subject, but hopefully I can effectively articulate why I encourage homeschooling moms to "stick it out" through the teen years.

Why do so many homeschooling parents send their teens to high school?

There comes a point in the lives of most homeschooled teens when they want to do something more than spend time with their parents and siblings at home. This is not an indication that homeschooling has failed you or your family, or that parents have done anything wrong in homeschooling their children.

It is a perfectly normal process for EVERY teen-- homeschooled or not-- to take a second look at the things they have been taught and believe to be true. This is the transition to adulthood, and it's a GOOD thing! Every person needs to come to their own conclusions about truth and right in order to establish and fortify the core beliefs that will be the foundation for their adult lives.

This time of spiritual examination is also a very tender, fragile thing. The strength of many people's testimonies are greatly effected by the decisions and circumstances surrounding this time of life. In a confused and lost society such as ours is it any wonder that so many mainstream youth fall away during the important teen years?

In the midst of all the teen confusion and unrest, many youth-- and their parents, I might add-- interpret their disorientation as an empty space that can only be filled with two words: High School. In their fear, these amazing youth and their concerned parents give up the idea of homeschooling through the teen years, and turn their education back over to the world.

And it's completely unnecessary. More on this in a moment.

Another reason so many homeschooling parents end up sending their kids off to high school is very easily explained, yet it also has the same root: fear. They are afraid that they can't teach algebra or chemistry, or calculus. Or they begin to fear that their child will be deprived of the high school events (like prom) or opportunities (like choir, orchestra, drama and sports) that their peers have.

As a side note, I know some people who were sent to high school after being homeschooled as children. And even though they may have been the ones who BEGGED to go back to school, they unequivocally all tell me that they wish their parents had stuck it out, and kept them at home.

Looking toward the Future (or "What about college?!")

Okay, so we all can understand WHY youth and parents give up homeschooling during the teen years, but why should we concern ourselves with this trend in homeschooling? I mean, at least they were homeschooled when they were younger. Right?

Well, yes.

And no.

Choosing to homeschool is a HUGE decision, and not one that anyonetakes lightly. I get that; I've been there. But homeschooling is not so much about where a child sits to be educated, as it is about embracing an entire lifestyle and family culture.

Even with the acceptance of the lifestyle and confirmation we get from small homeschool victories and domestic harmony, eventually most parents start to feel the fear and pressure of their children's futures looming ever closer. *Questions starting from "How can I prepare my child to take the ACT/SAT test?", "How do I create a transcript?" and"Should my child get a diploma or take the GED?" usually escalate to questions like "Will my/their favorite college accept homeschoolers?"and "What about scholarships?".

And if a parent then also forgets the reasons they homeschooled in the first place, and dismiss seeking out inspiration from the Lord, the fear and panic of the unknown can set in and take over quickly. But if we stay in tune to the Spirit and calmly look to other experienced homeschooling parents and to our Heavenly Father for the answers to our questions, the fear subsides and peace returns.

By the way, I want to quickly answer some of the *Questions above:

• Look at www.khanacademy.com and other websites, as well as local community classes, to easily find help and support in preparing for the ACT or SAT tests. 
• A simple search online can give you several options for creating your child's home school transcripts. (My personal favorite is www.thehomescholar.com.)
• Neither a diploma NOR the GED is required to attend most colleges-- especially community college, several of which do not even require an ACT or SAT score. 
• Most colleges today go out of their way to recruit homeschooled students, and many, MANY homeschoolers go to college on full scholarships. 
• Just do your homework for the colleges you and your child find interesting, and make your plans from there.

Beyond College

I am going to be brutally honest here: I hope my children grow up and marry other homeschoolers so that my grandchildren will also be homeschooled.

Yes, I have dared to utter this desire aloud because it's the honest-to-goodness truth for me! Yes, I may be an idealist and a hopeless dreamer, but I believe in setting goals. And if I want my family's hopes and dreams to come true, I have to think through the possibilities my children's futures hold.

So I am asking these questions: If wave after wave of homeschooled families give up and send their teens back to High School, then WHO will marry the teens who continue to homeschool through the teen years? Who do they date when they come home from their missions? Do I really want to just send my children off to college (Yes, even Church run schools) and hope that they can find someone to marry who will desire, much less understand, homeschooling?

What Youth Really Need

Going back to that idea that youth around the age of twelve begin to want something "more," I wish to share some alternatives to sending high school age kids back into the publicly-funded school system.

It's a fact that most youth begin to feel the draw of having peers near their age and maturity level once they reach the teen years. They naturally want people besides their family members with whom they can discuss their thoughts and ideas. In fact, they feel a great desire to see what their peers are doing and measure themselves in academic and spiritual comparison. As I stated above, this is perfectly normal and right. But it is also true that this adult transition period is fraught with dangers our children may not come out of spiritually unscathed. Thus it is of greatest importance that homeschooled youth have other homeschooled friends and comrades to socialize with.

If you haven't witnessed a group of homeschooled teens getting together to learn, work OR play, you have missed out! It is delightful! They don't sit and text in the presence of one another, they don't talk about frivolous things like the physical attributes of members of the opposite sex, what fashions they or their friends are wearing, the latest pop artists, or of the stupidity of their parents and teachers. Instead, they discuss books they're reading or experiments they're trying (actually, they usually just start impromptu experiments right then) or start singing and jamming on instruments, or discuss philosophy and politics.

The most effective of teen gatherings I have seen involve regular, shared learning in small-ish groups with caring, inspiring adult mentors. These teens need to be with their peers, but they also need guidance from adults they can trust that are not their parents. And their parents need to know that these mentors can be trusted to strongly reinforce truth. These mentors can be powerful second witnesses for the parents and the values they have sought to instill in their children.

When I know my children's friends' parents, I enthusiastically encourage them to spend time with one another. I am more willing to facilitate and transport my children to various events and classes. These familial relationships are the glue that holds the teen relationships together!

And when I know the beliefs, the habits, and the environments of these other families, I begin to make mental notes and secret plans about the possibilities in my children's futures. Of course, these huge decisions for their lives will ultimately be up to them! (Yes, they really WILL be!) But again; a mom can dream, right???

You Can Do It!

So how do you find a group like this for your teens? Well, first of all, there is always the wonderful, helpful Internet. There are MANY e-mail lists and homeschool support groups out there, so find one in your area that works for your family, and dive in. If these groups don't offer teen events or classes, and especially if you cannot find an LDS homeschool group in your area, START SOME.

This may seem like a daunting prospect, but when we remind ourselves that we are doing this for our children, we begin to have strength and skills we never knew we had! There are many, MANY possibilities in this arena, so don't limit yourself. Simply consider your child and their needs and interests, do a bit of homework, add in a lot of prayer and involvement, and begin. These classes don't need to be complicated, but they should be something your child-- and you-- will enjoy doing.

Some great places to start for ideas, and even for ready-made classes can be found here and here. (And if you know of others online or elsewhere, please share the links and other information in the comments!)

Start a teen book club and let your child choose the first book to discuss. Be sure to help lead the discussion, but don't take it over, and don't be afraid of long, quiet pauses in the beginning weeks or months. (They're thinking-- so don't interrupt! wink)

Or take a good look at your skills and abilities, and go from there. I've created choirs, cooking groups, sword-fighting events, and taught Shakespeare classes and drama groups. Some have been successes, and some haven't been, but they HAVE been what my children needed at the time, so I press on.

If you do have moms in your area that are teaching youth classes or leading youth groups, be brave and join in. As a parent, be sure to become involved in the group, too, as much as you can. This will help you get to know the other parents, which will in turn help your child have the best experience possible. Just dropping your child off at a weekly or monthly class does nothing to build and solidify the homeschooling community, so get involved! The friendships and support you glean from these situations will be a valuable gift you can give to your family and yourself.

Above all, remember that Heavenly Father gave you these children to raise. He loves them even more than you do, so seek his counsel in everything. He will give you the strength and confidence you need to then turn and give your children the educational and life experiences they require for a successful future.

Even when it involves homeschooling teens.

You can do it!!!

Love, Mama Rachel

My One Room Schoolhouse

"One Room Schoolhouse Americana" by William Ladd Taylor

I've been doing a lot of studying and pondering over our "Winter Break." (And by "Break", I mean the month of time we give ourselves before we start our homeschool group classes up again.)

With two little "birdies" having flown from the nest, one set to "graduate" this semester, and a bunch of fledglings of various sizes left to continue to teach at home, I am taking a good look at where we've been successful in our homeschooling efforts, and where we need to improve.

In case you were wondering, this self-examination is NOT easy or fun. My weaknesses and failures stand out so garishly, and our little victories are quiet and unassuming.

I have a firm, strong testimony that I have been called by God to teach my children. Every so often, I get back on my knees to double check that fact, but so far, I have received solid, strong, YES answers. (I read an AWESOME LDS conference talk this morning that inspired me today. Here's the link.)

Now that we have that out of the way, I'm going to be brave and brutally honest about what our homeschool efforts have accomplished...

OUR "HOMESCHOOL REPORT CARD"

We have been trying to use the principles of A Thomas Jefferson Education for thirteen years in our homeschool, and while I understand most of the concepts, I know that there are things I have misunderstood and areas in which I have fallen short. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE TJED, and through personal revelation, I know that its principles are the right ones for our family to follow. I just want to do better at following them!

We have succeeded at our homeschool in many areas:

1. Our kids love learning, and they are not afraid to try new things. They are really quick at picking up new concepts.
2. Our children love to read and do it for hours and hours a day!
3. They appreciate classics in their many forms: literature, art, music, people, etc.
4. Our children have close relationships with each other and with their parents.
5. Our children know how to care for a home, cook meals, do laundry, and care for little ones.
6. Our children want to do what's right, and value the teachings of the Church. Most of them have testimonies of their own, and are truly converted to the Gospel.
7. They have a strong sense of self-worth and confidence in themselves.
8. Our children understand very complex concepts like government, history, and math and science theories that I know they would not grasp if they had attended regular school. I believe that this is because they have time to ponder on great ideas and philosophies for hours at a time, uninterrupted. 
9. Some of our children are strong leaders that rally their peers for activities or causes. (I don't expect this of ALL my children, because of autism for some, and simple personality differences in others.)
10. Our children value their family relationships above all others, and enjoy being together.
11. Each of the older children have created, worked on, and finished large, difficult projects that have helped them grow in character and knowledge.
12. Our kids ALL love our group learning time together, where we learn about history and science.

Now that I see that list typed out, it makes me very happy! We really have accomplished a LOT of good! It's very cool to see that.

Now for the shortcomings. (And YES, I know they are flaws!):

1. Our older kids do not drive. Yes, we could have enrolled them in some kind of driver's ed. course, and one did get his driver's permit, but frankly, we don't have the money for the added car insurance, and we don't really have a car that they can drive regularly, anyway. (Russell needs to take his little Honda in to work every day, and the other car is our fifteen passenger van. Anyone WANT to learn to drive-- or especially PARK-- that beast?)
2. There are some gaps in our older kids' math education. I have an allergy for math textbooks. I will confess that honestly. And so, we have used online math programs and other things to teach math. While our kids understand most math concepts, they have not been drilled on math facts very much. I blame my own inconsistency and fear of math for this. But I DO, however, think my kids will be fine in the real world. As I said above, they learn quickly, and when they have a reason to learn things like factoring numbers, they will pick it up quickly.
3. They never took music lessons. Oh, I have the skills to teach both piano and voice lessons, but with everything else going on, the lessons have never happened. My autistic daughter always started crying if ever I tried giving her music instruction, and I think it made me give up on everyone else, as well. I have tried to find teachers over the years, but like the insurance, we just could not afford it. (Our 15 year old daughter has always paid for her own ballet lessons. She wants them that badly, and works hard to pay for them.) The idea of no music lessons breaks my heart more than theirs, but it was something I always wanted and was never able to pull off. Luckily, I did get one son enrolled in a FABULOUS choir, since they do award scholarships. He has loved it! I hope to be able to enroll more kids in the choir next Fall, but we'll see how that goes. We are now paying for a missionary, after all...
4. Our kids are fiercely independent. This is both a weakness AND a strength. It's great that they feel so strong and capable in their own destinies, but at the same time, they have a hard time submitting to mentors. I love that they don't cave in to the opinions of others, but they sometimes don't recognize that they still have things they need to learn and understand. Like I said, this is a flaw AND a virtue.
5. We have let too much social media in our home. This horse is out of the barn and has been running ever since. We have been able to rein it in, somewhat, but any problems with interrupted study time, with temptations and worldiness, with relationships, with stunted educational growth, and with neglected studies and lack of consistency, all have their roots in too much social media. Whether it's me setting a bad example of wasting time on Facebook, or friends trying to chat online while a child is working on math, the effects have been felt strongly in our family culture and in our learning environment. It's a battle that is ongoing.
6. ME and my inconsistency. This is not fun for me to admit. I hate schedules, and I am easily distracted. I don't like sticking to plans, and I am often forgetful. Because of this, our mentor meetings have not been consistent, and I know they really would have helped my older kids stay on task. My flightiness is a CONSTANT struggle for me, and though I have improved over the years, I know I still have a long way to go before I am strong in this area. The good news is, my kids have learned in spite of this weakness of mine! Of course, this does not excuse me from trying to become better. I'm still working on it.

"The Country School" by Winslow Homer

EARLY AMERICAN SCHOOLS

As I said at the beginning of this post, I've been pondering and praying quite a lot. I can see where I have failed, AND where I have succeeded. 

I do need to be careful not to destroy the successes while I attempt to fix the weaknesses.

As part of all this pondering, I have taken another look at the school system of EARLY American history. Before compulsory attendance, before age and grade separation, before national testing and teacher evaluations, and before thousands of dollars were spent on each child per year for their "education."

In all my studying, (I've been reading about this in classic literature for years, so it's almost a life-long pursuit!) here's what I have learned:

• The supplies were simple and the format uncomplicated. Each child had a slate and a slate pencil for writing. And each child had a reading book and a math text.
• Students learned to read, write, and figure their math facts on a consistent, daily basis.
• They memorized scriptures and poetry, and recited them before the rest of the students. 
• They prayed every day as a class, and religion was freely taught and discussed. 
• Their parents housed, hired-- and fired-- the teachers, and decided what was taught. 
• Children of all ages were in one classroom together, working on their own studies, with occasional help from the teacher.
• Subjects like science and history were taught together with all ages combined, as a group.
• Parents also taught children at home in the evenings, checking them on what they knew, and making sure their religious teaching was correct.
• The school year was shorter, because children helped with the family work growing, harvesting, and "putting up" their own food. Every person was needed at home for much of the year.

So how does this change my methods?

Well, I have decided that it doesn't change a lot for me, but in one area, I will be changing things quite significantly. 

"MILKING THE COWS"

Though I have never lived on a farm, I know that if a cow, fresh in milk, doesn't get milked every morning, and every night, two things happen. The cow will be miserably engorged with milk, and if the milking is neglected too long, the cow's milk will dry up, and no more milk will be available to drink.

A similar thing happens to a garden that is neglected. If it is not cared for, watered, weeded, and nurtured each day, the plants will not grow as they should, and the family depending on the crop for its food will go hungry.

And so, in an effort to improve in the areas we are lacking, I will be instituting a "Milking the Cows" list for my children to complete EVERY day (Except Sundays) before any online or in-person socializing.

Here it is:

“Milking the Cows”

1. Personal Scripture Study & Prayer (Personal Devotion)

2. Family Morning Devotional and Planning Time

3. Arithmetic (Drilling math facts)

4. Reading (The older kids will be reading on their own during this time.)

a. Reading aloud of a classic by Mom

b. D.E.A.R. (Drop Everything and Read) Time

c. Phonics instruction (Fun School for those learning to read)

5. Writing

a. Handwriting Practice

b. Journal writing

6. Music

a. Weekly group/private instruction with Mom

b. Daily practice

7. Family Scriptures and Prayer (Family Devotion)

Quite earth-shattering, isn't it? 

I know it doesn't look like a big deal for most people, but for MY kids, it really will be.

Because of my difficulty in being consistent, one more thing I'm not sure my kids understand is the "Law of the Harvest."

Goodness, I'm not sure I understand it! As a person raised in a modern society, where almost everything and anything is readily and conveniently available at any time, anywhere, I don't personally know what it means to depend on the crop coming in so that I can eat in the winter!

This is a CORE lesson our entire family is missing. THIS is where my focus will be in the new year.

Luckily, I do know what it means to struggle to learn to play an instrument, and then what kind of progress daily, regular practicing gives a musician. THAT, I can-- and will-- share with my kids this year.

I think that learning this Core lesson will help our entire family. It will help my children learn that there is a time to submit to instruction. It can help me to be more consistent. It will give the kids a chance to have that music instruction I feel they need. It will help the kids be stronger in their memorized math facts.

And no one will be allowed on the computer for socializing until everyone has "Milked Their Cows."

(It really won't help anybody get a driver's license, however. That's a whole different problem I'm going to need to still address...)

Of course, I am the queen of making plans. I make GORGEOUS, organized, lovely plans! The trick will be following through.

And that's why I wrote about all of this on my blog today. It's an effort to create some accountability for myself.

Of course, we will continue our success in learning science and history together as a family. That's another strength we have, and I don't want to discontinue it! And we will also continue to read classics aloud as a family. I wouldn't trade that family time for anything!

Thank you for listening, and for being my "accountability partner" for my educational goals for this new year. We will begin next week!

Love, Mama Rachel

Peace in Simplicity

A kid-built tent city

Anyone who reads my blog knows that I love Pinterest. I am an idea girl, and so I love finding new ideas and inspiration!

Recently, I have been more self-disciplined and don't just go there to browse. I make sure I only go there when looking for something specific-- and that has been a huge help in reducing how much time I spend online.

One of the things I use Pinterest the most for is for my homeschool. WOW!!! There are so many great resources for teaching my kids out there! I also find inspiring articles and quotes that keep me excited and motivated.

However...

There is a danger lurking in all those amazing homeschool boards, pins, and ideas that anyone can fall prey to if we're not careful...

"Comparison is the thief of joy"

If we were all as fabulous as our Pinterest boards make us appear to be, we would no longer need to pin, read, save, or go back to that wonderful website again and again. I'm sure there are some awesome women out there who have done everything you see on their boards, but I don't personally know of any. And I'm definitely not one of them!!!

There are days when I will start to follow someone's homeschool board that is full of all kinds of systems for organizing papers and lesson plans, and though it all looks like it's so easy and orderly, I begin to get a tiny knot in my stomach. As the panic in my throat rises, I take a deep breath and look elsewhere.

Complexity = Burnout

"I wouldn’t give a fig for simplicity this side of complexity… but I’d give my right arm for simplicity on the other side of complexity." ~Oliver Wendell Holmes

I don't believe that the amount of papers I have in a file cabinet or that my children have shoved in binders is a good indication of how "educated" they are. But when I ponder on that idea, I realize that philosophy is exactly what the outside world thinks! 

Of course, this doesn't mean that we don't have papers in files-- we do! And my kids each have their own school binder (as do I) that we use to store important things we are learning about.

The difference is that I know don't need a complex system in order to homeschool well. And let me tell you, I have tried MANY filing systems, planners, and organizers over the fourteen years I've been homeschooling! I've even created all kinds of spreadsheets, folders, and planner pages that in the end, just got thrown out in the midst of us getting down to the real business of learning.

Cui Bono?

If we feel that we must serve or follow a system or we're not homeschooling "right," then we are completely missing the joy and liberty that homeschooling can bring to a family! Any "system" or philosophy we use should serve US, not the other way around.

Whenever I get paralyzed by the dazzle and shine of someone else's fabulous plans, I have to ask myself: Cui Bono? Who benefits when I try and shove my square little self into someone else's round hole?

NO ONE. Not me, and especially not my kids. So while pinning uber-organizing filing systems may help me look like the amazing homeschool mom I want everyone to think I am, it does absolutely nothing for my mental health or for my efforts to teach and inspire my kids.

In order to find once again find the peace that simplicity brings, I need to turn away from the glow of the screen and snuggle down with my kids to read aloud from a classic.

Ahhhh! That's better.

True Education

True education can-- and never will be-- accurately measured by the amount of paper clutter anyone stores. True education can only be seen in the character of a person's life, in their devotion to God, in their defense of truth, in their treatment of others, and in their love of learning. 

I love this quote by Albert Einstein:

"Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited, whereas imagination embraces the entire world, stimulating progress, giving birth to evolution."

Those who have strong imaginations and a thirst for knowledge are the truly learned. They can adapt to any situation, and are not afraid to try new things, to experiment, and even-- yes-- to FAIL. But they are the people who get back up, dust themselves off, and try again. And again. And again.

The process above is called learning. And we, as parents, have to be careful in how we tread. Again, "Cui bono?" Are we teaching our kids in a way acceptable to others so that WE will look good? Are we so caught up in the idea of "proving that homeschool works," that we forget why we're homeschooling in the first place??? (I think we all know it isn't for the Jones', folks!)

So yes, while all the organizing and filing of papers can make the world think we're doing things "right," (and might even make us moms feel like we have it all "together,") it will never-- NEVER-- result in a better education for our children.

Love, Mama Rachel

Just Keep Swimming...

Another picture? Really, Mom???

Roads go ever ever on,

   Over rock and under tree,

By caves where never sun has shone,

   By streams that never find the sea;

Over snow by winter sown.

   And through the merry flowers of June,

Over grass and over stone,

   And under mountains in the moon. {J.R.R. Tolkien}

I am not the hobbit that I was.

I haven't traveled a long road and challenged a dragon like Bilbo did, but I feel different, somehow.

View of the mealtime food line from the table
(And through a dirty camera lens...)

Maybe I'm just getting OLD. I feel a little like I've lost bits of my former self, all while adding new challenges that are refining and teaching me. I have chosen them-- they are good, important things. I have received a witness that it's my time, my turn, to take them on. Still, I feel like I've not only been thrown in the deep end of the pool, but I have a boat full of people that I am supposed to bring safely to shore with me: moms, dads, kids, youth, and ESPECIALLY my own family.

Happy Davy on a messy floor-- I never said he could crawl so soon!

First of all, having a baby this late in life is a whole new ballgame compared to my first ones. I feel like I have more patience, more appreciation for my sweet little ones, but I also have less energy. Thankfully, I have more help! But with that, there's a bitterness to the sweet things that come with babyhood. I know that it is so fleeting, so short.

I recognize that it's silly to cry about how he's growing and how fast he's learning, but I know too well that he will be gone tomorrow... practically. He is a precious, sweet gift that I am not anxious to let go of. But I know that he is here for that very purpose, to become his own person, to move on, to grow and accomplish all Father has in store for him.

Davy trying applesauce for the first time, thanks to big sister Bonny. Mmm!

Alright. Enough of that! A mother's heart can only take so much.

Not-a-baby-anymore Eryn and bigger sister, Avalon

In addition to motherhood, I am homeschooling, I direct my ward choir, I am making and organizing the costumes for our Spring Shakespeare play, and now I have taken on something BIG. (Because I'm not busy enough, obviously...)

I have taken the helm of an enormous vessel, called a Commonwealth School. It's not really a "school." It's a group of homeschooling parents who get together once a week for supplemental classes and I am their new leader.

Grayse Dawn turned 6 this month.

Luckily, I was inspired to accept the nomination, so I get to have the Lord's help with it all. But I am still drowning a bit while I remember what it's like to lead. I spent three years as a homeschool group president before resigning my position five years ago, and I'm hoping I have learned better what NOT to do, since I made plenty of mistakes the first time around.

Yeah. 

PRAY FOR ME.

Here are more pictures for the grandparentals. {SQUIRREL!}:

Brennan, on his way to rescue his "kidnapped" future prom date.
It was his creative way of asking her.
(Thanks for the Civil War jacket, Granna!)

Here are the accompanying siblings, one dressed as "Death, the kidnapper."

Ronan, Dierdre, and Gavin posing in a real Ford Model-T!
Ronan begged me to take him to a free car show, so we went in between conference sessions on Saturday.

Somehow, thanks to the Savior's love and help, we will make it through.

Hopefully, without drowning.

Love, Mama Rachel

Homeschool: Sharing "What's Mine"

Mom, sharing what she loves!

First, and foremost, our homeschool does not look like public school.

Surprise!

Why not?

Because we live there, we pray there, we play there, we LOVE there. Our focus is on the "Home" part of the word, not the "School" part.

Our home is a Home of Learning.

The picture above is a photo one of my kids took during our school time. I was busy sharing "what's mine."

What's "what's mine?"

"What's mine" is a term my friend and author (who happens to also be a homeschooling mom), Rachel DeMille, uses to explain what she teaches to her children. Basically, "what's mine" includes the things I, as their mother, want them to know and understand.

Every few months, I sit down and I plan what I want to present to my children. I use a four year rotation as a personal preference, just because I know that if I don't plan, I forget what I want to share. It's just how my brain works, so I've learned to accept and embrace who I am and how I function.

(I also adore making spreadsheets. It's a disease, really, but thankfully it's been a useful one...)

Every day, my kids clean, cook, study the Gospel, do math exercises and read. Those are the basics around here. Then during our "school time," I share the other things I want them to learn.

• Mondays we clean the house and I have Mentor Meetings with our scholar kids (12 and older). 
• Tuesdays we go to our Commonweralth School classes (see more about that here: tjla.net)
• Wednesdays we study history together.
• Thursdays we learn about music. (Composers and music theory lessons)
• Friday is our science day.

Four Year Plan

Because there are so many things to learn under each general subject, I put them on a four year rotation to be more organized. Here's what that looks like:

Year One

• Gospel: Old Testament & Pearl of Great Price; 
• History: Ancient
• Science: Chemistry

Year Two

• Gospel: New Testament
• History: Modern World
• Science: Biology

Year Three

• Gospel: Book of Mormon
• History: Geography
• Science: Physics

Year Four

• Gospel: Doctrine & Covenants/Church History
• History: United States
• Science: Astronomy & Earth Science

We are currently on Year Four.

Learning Resources

Obviously, we have a variety of ages and levels in our family. But we use materials that all can understand, and that are more hands-on and fun. Then the older kids can go in more depth on their own-- which they do.   A great resource for more in-depth, advanced learning that we frequently use is Khan Academy. (Our scholars do more advanced math there, as well.)

We also have a MULTITUDE of books the kids can read, too-- especially for history, which I think is one of the most important subjects anyone can know! 

Here's one of the great resources we are using for our U.S. History studies this year:

Found at Deseret Book

For Science, we are using this awesome book:

Found at Latter-Day Family Resources

For our music study, we read about a composer, listen to his music, and then we learn a little about music theory. My favorite composer book is this one:

Also from LDFR

We also read aloud as a family-- one of the most important things we do for our learning AND our family culture. Right now, we are reading this:

From Deseret Book

(And it's AWESOME!!!)

How much time?

Our "school time" is not very long-- about an hour, sometimes an hour and a half. Then the big kids go off and study on their own, and the little ones play. The middle ones are always working on some project or another. Those projects are usually hands-on, and often messy, but they have a lot of fun learning!

A lot of time is also spent cleaning, organizing, cooking, and fixing things. I believe that ALL of life is learning, and the practical life skills we all need are a major focus of "what's mine." 

HOME-school

I hope this little glimpse into our homeschool day might help others see that homeschool does not need to look like public school. I always try to remember that we are running a HOME, first and foremost. The rest happens organically.

I am so grateful for the freedom to teach my children the things that Heavenly Father wants me to teach them! I could not do any of it without Divine Inspiration. So, in reality, when I'm teaching "what's mine," I'm also teaching "what's His."

Love, Mama Rachel

Math In Our Home

Valentine's Day crepes made by Bonny-- She used math!

Lately, I have been meaning to share more of our homeschool experiences here on my blog, but life has been really interrupting my writing time.

True confession: So has the time I've been wasting on Facebook. Bleh...

Anyway, as a way to "get back in the saddle again," I thought I'd share my response to an e-mail I received yesterday. A sweet lady in my community was asking about how we do math in our home. Her specific questions were in regards to our use of Khan Academy.

Here's my response:

I tend to only use Khan Academy with my older kids-- mostly because they have to have a Google account to sign into it, and they can't have a Google account until they're 13. I do have one child who uses my Google account to sign in, but if I have more than one child sign in that way, I can't check their progress or what they are each doing in the teacher portion. This is just for the exercises portion-- ANYONE can watch the videos, of course!

I don't like all of the videos-- I want my kids to stick with the math portion. In the other videos, Sal just teaches what public schools teach about subjects that I think need to come from a different perspective. (History and Science, for examples.) My oldest boys do like to learn about programming, and I am fine with those.

For math, we have actually started using Xtra Math for exercises, because kids can be any age to use it. And we only use it to "close the gaps" and keep track of where the kids may still be struggling. It's just for beginner-type math-- Khan Academy is better for the harder maths. www.xtramath.org

How do these programs tie in with TJEd philosophy? My goal is to keep learning fun, and to inspire my kids to love math. So they do a few exercises on Xtra Math, and we read stories about mathematicians, read some "Life of Fred", and talk through word problems, and cook, and try to help the kids see math in their lives and everything they do.

Personally, math text books give me panic attacks-- and I am not even joking about that! Saxon Math works great for many, but for me, it started me down a spiral of burn-out. Everyone is different, so I think it's important for each of us to follow our own promptings from God. :-)

I have never been a math-lover. In fact, I've been a pretty rabid math-hater for most of my life. Some of my most vivid memories of feeling overwhelmed, stressed, frustrated and worthless have to do with learning math.

(Can I get an "Amen"???)

I don't want to perpetuate a "hate of math" among my own children. I want them to see math as the integral part of life that it is! I want them to understand math principles, and not just keep them boxed into the idea that "doing math" means doing page after page of number combinations that mean nothing to them. I want them to love math and recognize it in their everyday lives.

We love learning!

I love sharing what we do with other homeschoolers! All my mistakes and fumbles over the years should be of some use to someone, I hope...

Since this blog is also for the grandparents and other family, I will end this post with another picture of some cute kids.

Ronan and Cowpoke Davy

Love,
Mama Rachel

Structuring Time in A "Relaxed" Home Culture

I have shared this post in various places, like the Latter-day Homeschooling blog and at various speaking engagements. But for some reason, I have not been able to find it here, on my blog! It must already be here somewhere, but I cannot locate it! So, because it has been requested by more of my readers, I'm reposting it here today.

Love,
Mama Rachel


I am not a "scheduler." In fact, I totally rebel against them-- even when I make them! I've continually looked to outside sources to "fix" me, including great programs like this. But I like to be spontaneous! I like to switch things around randomly. And I like to go with the flow of my children's interests, so I NEED more flexibility in my home.

One day, I decided to simply accept myself and my family as we are, and workwith my natural tendency to work on a relaxed, unstructured-- uh, structure. *grin*

Something I learned from the "Managers of their Homes" program, was to split up the hours of the day into three separate charts. So I sat down and made a list of the things that we need to do during each part of the day, and then I made a chart for each. This way, we have a goal for what needs to get done, but we are not restricted by my inaccurate time estimates.

Morning is from rising to 11-ish, Midday is from around 11am to 5pm, andEvening is from 5pm to bedtime.

See the chart below to see what we work to accomplish in the Morning.:





And here's what we work on through Midday.:





Here's how our Evenings work. (Please note that each of the activities listed under "Inspiration Time" are not done EVERY night. They simply include the things that happen through the week.):




I am a believer that scheduling IS important. but I am also finding that if I want to truly succeed, I need to work with my personality, and make sure that our schedule is working with our family rhythms, and not against them.

I wish you happiness in creating a plan that fits YOUR family's needs!

Love, Mama Rachel

Our Summer "School"

An Arizona monsoon sky (We often see this in the evenings in late July.)

 We are year-round homeschoolers. All that means is we simply don't follow the typical school year timing.

Because we live in the hot part of Arizona, it makes no sense for us to take the summer months off. It's simply too hot to play or do anything else outside! (Except swim.) There are usually at least 100 days of 100+ degrees every summer. We begin staying indoors from mid-May until Halloween, at the earliest.

One of the principles of Thomas Jefferson Education (TJEd) is to try to be more in tune with the seasons. The DeMilles talk about what our ancestors would do in the Winter: they read, discussed, and studied around the fire, cared for their animals, and snuggled in to wait out the weather until planting began again in the spring.

We took this principle and turned it on its head to fit our family's circumstances. We consider summer our "winter"-- the time when we need to hunker down and avoid going outside too much. So we also take time to read, discuss, and study in the hot summer months. It works out great for us, because then I can also feel free to let the kids play and explore outside in the later fall, winter, and spring-- which is also when science is more emphasized.

We also participate in supplemental homeschool classes in the Fall and Winter semesters, as well as high school seminary, and that means our schedule is now free from outside commitments. Our ward choir even takes the summer months off! (I am the director.) We get to do homeschool in the summer, free and unrestrained!

I have spent a few days thinking and planning about what what we want to focus on this summer. Below is what I hope to do with each of the age groups in my family. (Though all the kids have some math to catch up on.)

Little girls cooling off in the water

Core Phase Kids (Under 8 years old):  
Keywords are home, love, play, truth, fun, and work.

• ABC's and 1,2,3's-- My older little girls need more practice writing their names and other letters. They are showing a real interest right now, so I want to strike while they are asking.We'll also play some phonics and reading games.
• Months, days of the week, seasons-- Even my 8 year old needs some review in this area. I want to make this fun and really hands-on. We'll be doing lots of singing, games, and artwork with this subject.
• Scripture Stories-- My little ones LOVE the "Scripture Scouts" CD's, and so do I! We need to get the "Old Testament" CD, since we got the "Book of Mormon" and the "New Testament" CD's for Christmas. The kids also really like watching the videos and playing the games on www.lds.org. We may need some more scripture story picture books from the online LDS Distribution Center-- ours are really worn out from all the many years of use by our older kids!
• Housework-- The younger kids need to learn how to do some of the harder jobs around the house. I will be their mentor and coach. The little girls can do more, and I need to train them how. This summer will be the perfect time!

Making a nest out of grass clippings at the park

Love of Learning Kids (8 years to about 13-14 years old):
 Keywords are exploring, adventure, curiosity, reading, learning, and fun!

• Resources-- The Love of Learning phase has been a bit neglected in my home for a year or two. Balancing all the different ages and phases is not an easy thing, especially when the big kids keep us so busy! I just got a GREAT book I am looking forward to learning from and using. It's called "For the Love of Learning" and it was written by a fellow TJEd mom named Amy Edwards, who has done some great things with her Love of Learning kids. I am loving everything I've been reading so far!
• Unit Studies-- I want to focus on U.S. history this summer with my middle kids. I plan to get Janeen Brady's "Take Your Hat Off" music, and hopefully some other American folk song music. We have some great American History story books I can use, too.
• Reading-- I'm making the middle kids a reading chart to encourage them to do more independent reading this summer. I also need to make some weekly trips to the library so the kids can pick some non-fiction books and movies to study.
• Projects-- I plan on the kids making lots of messes with art and craft projects this summer. I love their creativity!
• Swimming Lessons-- I need to find a cheap alternative to regular swimming lessons at the pool. I'm hoping to convince one of our family friends to teach a few of our kids at a neighborhood pool. It's what we've done in the past, and it was such a blessing! Community lessons for multiple kids is just way too expensive for us!

Bonny finishing up a report for her WWII class

Scholar Phase Youth (13 years old and up):
Keywords are Independent Study, reading, writing, intense, motivated, difficult, and time.

• Math-- The kids have been working through their math gaps at Khan Academy. They do math for at least one hour every day. The big kids are especially motivated to improve in this area, and that makes me happy. The only trouble I've had with this amazing program is to keep one of my kids focusing on his math before he moves on to other fun stuff like chemistry and physics. :-)
• Latin-- My husband got us the program "Visual Latin," but due to all the busyness our extra classes added, we never seemed to get to it. This summer will be the time! I have watched one video and really like the instructor's style. I'm excited to start this program!
• Reading-- Morganne and Brennan will be tackling the unabridged Les Miserables this summer for their class in the Fall. Another book the kids are looking forward to reading this summer is the new "Michael Vey" book. But it doesn't come out until August. Everyone else will continue to be encouraged to devour the classics on our shelves. 
• Audio Books-- I will also be adding some audio books to the mix this summer, as well. I love Librivox for this purpose! Classics for free are great, though I have to be careful to double-check the readings. One time, I downloaded all of War and Peace only to find that it was read by someone with the thick Indian accent I could not understand at all! And if you've read the classic, you know that there are phrases in both Russian and French throughout the novel. And the Indian accent just made them REALLY confusing! (And too funny!)
• Driver's Education-- It's time for Morganne and Brennan to get enrolled in a class and take their drivers' tests. Morganne is still not anxious to drive, but Brennan has been for a long time. I've finally decided that it's time to push Morgie into being more independent. (She hates being pushed, but sometimes it's necessary!) 
• College Classes-- Morganne is not planning to leave home in the next year, but she will start LDS Institute class in the Fall, and I'm also hoping to enroll her in BYU-I's new program called "Pathway." It's a great fit for her, since she wants to stay at home and ease into college gradually. I'm excited and she's sincerely willing to try it out. HOORAY. Progress is good.
• Personal Projects-- Brennan is working on a new club for young men, and wants to have it all organized before the Fall. He also plans on FINISHING HIS EAGLE PROJECT. (ahem.) I have lots of sewing I want to get done. I think Lliam will continue to improve his art, and Bonny wants to continue her ballet lessons. I also plan to add more voice students, including Brennan and Morganne, if I can talk her into it.

Today I'm cleaning and resting as I go. I'm still not fully healed, but I'm feeling much better every day. This afternoon, a lady is dropping off her daughter's dance costume for me to alter before her recital this Saturday. I'm also working on some fun sewing projects for a friend who's helped me a lot. But they're a surprise! So shhhh...

Now that my summer is planned "spiritually" (Thank you, Misty!), I hope we will be able to accomplish more in the physical world. I'm excited by all the possibilities! 

Thank you, Tristan, for inspiring me to write this post. Accountability to my friends is a great motivator!!! :-D

Love, Rachel

Homeschool Community

Sword of Freedom (American Civil War) class Awards Night

The last few months have been full of great reminders as to why I love my local homeschool community!

Mom Nights

In January, I attended two Mom's Night homeschool discussions that refreshed and inspired me. And I was able to help out a couple of moms with some words of reassurance, as well. I came away from both evenings feeling a new strength and determination to improve our homeschooling efforts, and also to seek more inspiration from the Holy Spirit and the scriptures in our family's education

Key things that stuck with me:

• Pray EVERY morning for inspiration on what I need to teach my kids THAT DAY. (Thank you, Toni!)
• Teach my children how to use the scriptures-- especially the Book of Mormon-- to find the inspiration they need for their studies EACH DAY
• At the end of every day, I need to sit down and record all the things we did that day. If I do this, I will be able to better see what we've actually accomplished. (Like Fly Lady's "Ta-Da" list!)
• The definition of success, according to the "Preach My Gospel" handbook is: "Teach with the Spirit, and Love Those You Serve." This was BIG for me. It keeps my perspective where it needs to be.
• We need to help one another to know how to start clubs and smaller groups our kids need.
• Our kids need to be connected, and in order for that to happen regularly is to keep the moms and dads connected with one another.
• Homeschoolers in our area can help each other better by being more unified. Two mom nights a month was too much time away from my family-- can't we combine the two???

Homeschooling Teens' Classes

First Semester

In the Fall, our Lliam and Bonny joined with friends from our weekly classes last year (Remember the ones we held in our house every Thursday?) to take the next class in the LEMI series from their mentor last year, Susan J.. Our Brennan had already taken the course, but he was asked to be the assistant mentor. The next class is called "Sword of Freedom" and is an in-depth study of the American Civil War. They read books about the war, wrote papers about what they learned, wrote a big paper on their favorite Civil War Hero, memorized battles, scriptures, and the Gettysburg Address, and participated in a battle simulation out in the desert. 

At the end of the semester, if they had fulfilled every requirement, they earned a Civil War replica sword and kepi hat. The picture at the beginning of the post shows the kids with their swords. (Brennan earned his sword as a surprise from the mentor. Since he had earned a Confederate sword last year, sweet Susan got him a Union sword for his help this year. Wasn't that so kind?

Second Semester

In January, our kids joined back up with the existing commonwealth school group that has been offering classes for the last few years. (I used to teach Shakespeare with that group.) I also stepped in to mentor the drama class and direct their production for this year. Since the kids my older children used to hang out with have all scattered, it was a bit difficult for them at first. But  they have since made new friends and have grown to appreciate them.

The other day, a call went out among us to help one of the families in the group. They had received notice that they had to be out of their rental home within 24 hours, and they needed HELP. My two big boys, ages 16 and 15, were immediately ready to go. They spent the day doing all they could to get this dear family's belongings safely out of their home. At least 3 or four other homeschool families responded to the call, moms, dads, kids. (I would have gone if I wasn't dealing with my own issues.) It was wonderful to see how quickly and immediately our little homeschool group responded to help!

And then last Friday evening, we held a Parents' Night where the mentors and students presented each class's purpose and showed a bit of what they have been studying. It began with the little ones in the Joy School and Core groups, went through all the Love of Learning classes, and then each Scholar age class. The last presentation was our Fiddler on the Roof class. We stood together and sang "Tradition." and the crowd went wild! (It's really going to be a great show!)

Looking around that night, I felt such joy and happiness, seeing all the families who actively participate and contribute to our Commonwealth classes. Unlike a regular school, we meet only once a week, and EVERY FAMILY must contribute in some way, whether it's teaching a little kids' class, mentoring a Scholar or Love of Learning class, or serving on the governing board. And because each family is heavily invested in the group, it runs smoothly and with high energy. It's different than just a bunch of moms that drop their kids off to someone's house or school to be taught by someone else. It's a feeling of belonging, of community, of family.

We had something similar with our tiny group in my home last year, and it was so wonderful! (I sure miss those other families! *sniff*) Intimately knowing who is influencing and teaching one's children is such a blessed thing! Our big kids get the time they need with other youth who have high standards and good study habits. And we get the support and encouragement we homeschooling moms so desperately need. (Well, I need it, anyhow...)

Community. Isn't it wonderful? :)

Our Homeschooling Life

Partially because I was inspired by this post by Pioneer Woman, and partially because we are often asked by complete strangers as well as family members about how and why we homeschool, I thought I'd share how things work in our home, complete with pictures and bold-faced opinions galore. ;-D

The first question we always get asked, is "What made you decide to homeschool?". First of all, neither my husband nor I were unfamiliar with the idea of homeschooling. In fact, my husband had even been homeschooled for a semester when he was growing up. He loved it, and since he had a bad experience with being public schooled, he was all for keeping our kids at home. As for me, I had an amazing aunt who homeschooled my cousins, and another older cousin who was also homeschooling her kids. I have always really admired and looked up to these two ladies, and I liked the results I was seeing in their homeschooled children.


Then, when our oldest daughter was born, we talked about the idea of homeschooling her, but it seemed like something for the distant future. A little later, as she developed the symptoms of Asperger's syndrome, I started to think about homeschooling more seriously. In a nutshell, children with this mild form of Autism have brains with severely UNDER-developed areas that are meant for social skills and understanding. They're not stupid, they're not "retarded," they just simply cannot understand nor adapt to social situations. I knew in my heart that forcing this little girl into daily social pressure would make her absolutely wilt. I simply could not see myself ever doing it.

In the meantime, we had three more children, and since they were turning out to be normal, social little people I started praying about whether I should send them to school, while I kept their older sister home. The answer startled and yet comforted me.

"No. Your children need to be at home with you."

Now it was official-- we were homeschoolers for the long haul!

Of course, every once in a while when things get frustrating, I get back on my knees to "double check." So far, the answer hasn't changed. And now, ten years later, we are seeing the happy results of our efforts in our home. Of course, our kids are FAR from perfect! But we are really enjoying the great people they're becoming.

So, is there a method to our madness? Those who come to our home and see our daily lives may or may not think so, but we have found what works for us, and we feel good about it! :-)


Thomas Jefferson Education: This is the foundation of our educational philosophies, and the reason we homeschool the way we do. In a nutshell:

• Each of our children receive one-on-one mentoring from my husband and I in subjects that interest them.
• My husband and I MUST set the example of studying. If we don't, then our kids won't want to study and learn, either. So study time for mom and dad is a HIGH priority! We want to "Inspire, not Require" academically. (But family chores and jobs ARE required of everyone!)
• The curriculum used is Classics-- and there are "classics" (works worth experiencing again and again) in EVERY area of study.
• We do not institute formal academic training until they are at least twelve years old. Before that age, they join in the "Kidschool" learning time, but we do our best to make it fun and relaxed. We do not require them to do assignments, nor do we expect them to be at a certain "level" at a certain age. We teach, we support, we encourage, and they learn at their own pace.
• Our older students, twelve and older, naturally-- without pressure or pushing-- enter their "Scholar Phase", where they choose to study between 8 to 10 hours a day in subjects that they choose with their mentors (Mom and Dad). Some enter this phase later than others, and there is no pressure or expectation on when they decide to become scholars.
• Reading classic literature aloud as a family, is also a very important part of our learning.
• For more detailed information on the "Thomas Jefferson Education" philosophy, see the "Introduction to TJEd" segment of this website: http://www.tjed.org/tjed/intro

The Four Year Plan: This is how I keep my mentoring ideas and our resources where we want them to be. The above book happens to be "Year One" of "The Four Year Plan" created by Ken and Teri Ebert. You can find their books and other products HERE.

Basically, we are on a Four Year rotation of the different subjects we plan to study in the areas of Gospel Study, History, and Science. Of course, reading, writing, and math happen all the time, so they're not included in the rotation.

Of course, we have adjusted their ideas to fit with our family's own needs and goals, but I have enjoyed using their books as a guide in helping me create our customized plan.

Here's what we're studying this year in our "Kidschool" (We're on Year Three):

• Gospel - Book of Mormon
• History- Geography
• Science - Earth Science & Astronomy

Our Gospel study coordinates with the LDS Seminary program, so that our seminary students won't be pulled in too many directions in their scripture study. And while I know that Geography is not really "History," I feel it's important, and found that studying the world's geography will help later in our subsequent history study.

Next year, we'll be studying:

• Gospel - Doctrine and Covenants/Church History
• History- United States
• Science - Physics

Here's a few pictures of our homeschool cork board that helps remind me and the kids about what we're studying.

Our Family Rules(Based on President Gordon B. Hinkley's "Nine Be's".)

History and Science

Gospel Study and Monthly Article of Faith
(We use the Article of Faith for Penmanship practice.)

The Month, Day, and Year




Our Current Family "Read-Aloud" Book
(As you can see, we're currently reading "To Kill a Mockingbird".)

One of these days, I'll post some links and descriptions of the other websites and resources we use. But since this post is long enough, I'll wish you all a good night. And if you have other questions, please leave a comment! :-)

One last thing: I know that God cares about ALL our children, and has a hand in our raising of them. I know that none of us should take our family's educational decisions lightly, and whether it's in the Lord's plans for us to homeschool, or to send kids to public, private, or charter schools, He will help us and support us all the way. We only need to ASK Him.

Love,
Rachel