Friday, September 30, 2011

Why I'm Quitting Facebook

"Lady Looking at Drawings" by Adolpho Belimbau, 1894

... {Or maybe I should title this post "Goodbye Facebook, Hello Life!"}

It is no secret that I have loved spending time on Facebook. I am a BIGTIME social butterfly, and FB made it so very easy to not only connect, but "hang out" with some of my favorite people in the universe-- especially friends I haven't seen in ages or family members I don't get the chance to see very often.

BUT... Starting today, I am quitting, jumping ship, abandoning cyberspace, whatever you want to call it, because I need to be a big girl and LIVE MY LIFE.

For anyone who'd like me to be more specific, I give you my "Reasons Why I'm Quitting Facebook" List:


It is frightening, but true, that my house, my family, and MY CHILDREN have suffered because of all this wonderful socializing I've been doing. My children would have an easier time recognizing the back of my head in a crowd than they would know me seeing my face.

And that is, frankly, TRAGIC.

My kids are growing up, moving on, and they need a REAL MOTHER. With a face and everything.


I'm sure this will shock everyone, but I have a very addictive personality. With almost anything (well, anything pleasant) I don't hesitate-- I JUMP in with both feet!

And Facebook has been no different for me. For example, I have almost 600 friends, I have a ton of pictures posted, I change my profile picture and information at least every month, if not every week, and I feel it is my duty to comment or "Like" all of my friends' posts, pictures, links, and notes. (What if someone thinks I don't like them?!)


I am in the midst of several IMPORTANT writing projects, and I have sadly been wasting my precious, scheduled "Writing Time" hanging out on Facebook. And so the only writing that's been happening has been rushed, poorly-written blog articles. And only because of deadlines. Oops.

I have finally realized that typing LOL and {{{HUGS}}} over and over again is not really helping me improve my writing skills-- ya know?


I recently had an epiphany about Facebook itself. In the last few weeks, Facebook has changed its format-- which it does quite often.

But this recent change really frustrated me. It came right at a time when I was trying to reasonably reduce the amount of time I was wasting there, and yet the new changes were taking away my choices of what friends and stories I wanted to see. It also added a feature that showed everything that my friends were saying, commenting on, posting to OTHER friends-- people I do not know.

The privacy issues at Facebook are now more intrusive than ever. And with all the "Friends" I have on Facebook, I have neither the time nor inclination to comb through every friend and change my settings for them.

Not only that, how could I know that ALL my friends would also be willing to do the same for me? It was like, the people at Facebook were TRYING to get me to waste more of my time there, adjusting and fixing everything, and getting comfortable with the new format.

And then it hit me. Right between the eyes.

YES! They WANT me to WASTE MY TIME hanging out on Facebook. 

But why? What do they care?

BECAUSE, the more time people STAY on Facebook, the more likely people are to click on an ad, (supporting their sponsors, which is how they earn money) or play a game where I spend money on non-existent items.

Guess what, folks? FACEBOOK IS THE NEW TELEVISION. Facebook keeps people distracted, busy, obsessed with doing NOTHING, all in the name of earning money. Sound familiar?

I used to think that Facebook was "The New Town Square," the place where "The Great Debate" was going on. I am now ashamed to say that I talked MANY people into joining Facebook using this argument.

But it's not true.

Does anyone really do any deep, meaningful thinking while they're on Facebook?

How about nurturing relationships--with those CLOSEST to us???

Does Facebook make our homes happier places?

Does it add to, or take away from, our family togetherness?

I think these are questions worth asking. And so I did.

And the answer I came to was that even though Facebook is an ego-boost for me, even though I enjoy yakking to everyone else in the world, and even though I've been able to stay in touch with many wonderful people, I find myself with a choice-- as my wonderful cousin-in-love ReNee put it-- between GOOD, BETTER, and BEST.

And today, I've chosen.

P.S.-- I will keep my blogs attached to my Facebook account, so that anyone who wants to know what's going on with me and mine can stay in touch. I have decided that the Blogosphere is really where "the Great Conversation" is happening, and I'll be working on my writing skills there. I would also love an e-mail from any of my friends and family, as well. You can always get in touch with me at libermama at gmail dot com. 


Friday, September 23, 2011

Idaho Trip: Take 2

Foolish Carriage from "Cheaper by the Dozen"

This has been  
"The Summer of Driving."

To recap, we traveled to Idaho at the end of June when Russell's Grandma K passed away and ended up staying for about 3 weeks because of our K family reunion in July. It was inspiring and touching!

It was a sixteen hour drive EACH way.

Then, in August, we traveled to Northern CA for our W family reunion. It was wonderful!!!

It was also a sixteen hour drive EACH way.

Next we have the month of September. Russell's Grandpa K. joined his wife in the Spirit World and we drove to Idaho again. It was a touching, yet heartrending, visit. (More on this to come.)

You guessed it-- sixteen hours EACH WAY.

And now, Russell's brother is set to get married. In October. Any guesses on where we'll be?

Okay, don't guess right now. Please.

I'm off to continue unpacking. Why? I have no idea.

Your trucking buddy,

Sunday, September 04, 2011

Life Lessons

What a week this has been! But before I begin, I am not having a pity party, and I am not trying to get anyone to feel sorry for me. Rather, I have learned so much this week, that I simply HAVE to record all the tender feelings and life lessons I have learned, so that I never, ever forget to be kind and treat all God's children as the miracles they are.

Monday, I woke up to find that I was miscarrying.


This is the second miscarriage I have had since Eryn was born, the previous one happening on April Fool's day of this year. That makes six total for me.

I was only a few weeks along, but I was looking forward to having another sweet baby. I know my time of bearing children is nearly over, but I don't feel ready yet! I want to invite all the children God wants us to care for, and one more boy would be such a beautiful end to the wonderful family we have been blessed with.

But there are MY plans, and then there are GOD's plans. And I hope I finally know from personal experience that His always work out better than my own.

Monday was the day before my birthday. I thought that was hard enough.

The next day, I got word that a hastily written and posted article I had authored was not only being hotly debated, but that I had become the subject of ridicule and scorn.

My first reaction was to feel defensive about it, and justify my strongly-worded article. But as the day wore on, I decided to let go of any hurt and shock I was feeling, and just take in the criticism with a peaceful heart.

I now realize how the Lord had humbled me in preparation for a hurtful situation. I could have cried and sworn off of writing forever, or I could have waded into the discussion with indignation and anger. Instead, I found myself being changed and refined.

A few days later, I read this for the second time this year, and cried as I thought about the people I may have hurt with my opinionated article. And then, yesterday, my sweet Russell took me to see "The Help" and I sobbed all over again.

We are all fragile. Each person on this earth has magnificent hopes, crippling fears, and astounding dreams. And all of us sometime rush in with passion, unknowingly bumping and bruising souls all along the way.

I am sorry.

I am so sorry.

It was not-- it IS not-- my duty to rush in and "set people straight."

My words cannot be taken back. But I CAN learn a lesson from this experience. I CAN love people more fully, more tenderly, more sincerely, and more kindly.

I am so grateful for the chance to begin again.
"Remember that whatsoever measure you mete out to others, it shall be measured to you again." ~Joseph Smith