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Last night, my husband and I accompanied our 16 year old to get his patriarchal blessing. It was beautiful!
Then, we ran home and picked up our nineteen year old daughter and our 17 year old son, and transported ALL THREE of them to their mission preparation class.
After class, I took them to visit a friend who's leaving on his mission to Germany on Wednesday.
And the realization that those big three kids will all be gone in the next two years, hit me again, as it has so often in the last few months.
I raised them for this! I have worked from morning until night, day in and day out, only to send them out on their own, never to return back to childhood.
I just never expected that it would happen so fast.
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| The boys, in a rare, quiet moment. |
Wasn't it only yesterday, that my boys, 13 months apart, were running around with mischief in their eyes and destruction in their wake?
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| Miss Morgie, age 1 |
Wasn't it only yesterday, that my eldest daughter begged me with her big eyes to understand what she needed and felt, without being required to speak?
I couldn't wait until they learned to calm down, get it together, figure it out, and grow up!!!
But then they did.
I still have lots of giggling and mischief and gobs of destruction going on at my house. There are still plenty of little ones, growing every day. I am so grateful for a "second chance" of sorts within my big family.
But, I wish...
I wish I had appreciated the JOY more with my first ones.
I wish I had been more patient. More loving. More... appreciative of my limited time with them.
I want them to go. I want them to try their wings and face the world with courage.
I WANT them to be the amazing adults they are becoming.
But I will miss them......
terribly.
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| L. to R.- Brennan (now 17), Bonny (14), Morganne (19), Lliam (16) My soon-to-be Missionaries. |
Posts
I understand exactly what you're feeling, Rachel. Which is why I think everyone should have a BIG family if at all possible. With the first few, we are so busy learning TO BE parents and HOW to be parents, that we miss so much of the joy and wonder that comes with parenting. When we finally learn to relax and enjoy them... they're gone!
ReplyDeleteAll those "older moms" always told me to enjoy them while I could because they grow up so fast... and they were RIGHT!!!
Although I love ALL my children dearly, I have to admit I "enjoyed" my younger ones so much more!
Aahhh. It is so fun but it just keeps speeding along. My missionaries are home and yet they are not. They just keep spreading those wings and becoming more.
ReplyDeleteRachel, I know just how you feel. Michael (Elder Cockrum) has been gone for almost 6 months now. I can't believe it's been that long! Hugs!
ReplyDeleteI have 2 waiting for mission calls right now, and another getting ready to go to BYU-I this year. I am going from 5 at home down to 3 and it feels weird. And we will have 2 more missionaries leaving in the next 3 years. Yes, it goes fast and it's a little sad, but the next phase is great as well. I now have 3 grandchildren and they are the BEST!
ReplyDeleteWhat a great reflection on being able to enjoy our children while we have them. Our oldest is turning 13 in a month and my husband and I have already commented that she is 2/3 of the way gone from our tender care and watchful gaze.
ReplyDeleteThe time we have with them truly is short. Good luck with your future missionaries!
Amen Rachel! I consciously have to turn off the guilt that my youngest kids are getting a much wiser mama in so many ways. But then I'm reminded again that God planned it this way, so each one must be getting exactly what they need to create the best learning experience for them. I sure miss my bigs, but it's very sweet watching them learn to flap their wings.
ReplyDeleteFeeling this myself...one just got her call, 2 more are expecting theirs next week. They will all leave this summer, and another will head to BYU I.
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