Just Venting...

I had a sad epiphany today. I realized that I am always looking for the "next thing" to make me happy.

I spend time online I should be spending with my kids. (See, here I sit... :p )

I thought when I could buy a house, I'd be happy. Then I thought a bigger house would do it. Now I'm wondering if I'm just looking for something new and exciting again by moving.

What is it about *actually* LIVING life that scares me? I can't put my finger on why I'm so down! My DH is devoted to me, is a good man, supports us well. My kids are healthy, good kids, though a bit messy-- a.k.a. NORMAL.

I just can't seem to shake this mood lately. Maybe I'm pregnant...? *sigh*

I'm sorry. I guess I'm just venting. For some reason my perfectionism is keeping me from doing the things I know I should do that will make me happy-- like exercise, prayer, singing with my kids, laughing, reading aloud, de-cluttering my bedroom...

Maybe I just needed to write these feelings out so I'll do the above.

I'll report back later.